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Ramona: He tried to pork me.
Earl Keese: Pork you? What?
Ramona: You know you did.
Earl Keese: I swear, I never touched her.
Ramona: Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.
Earl Keese: Enid... help me.
Earl Keese: Pork you? What?
Ramona: You know you did.
Earl Keese: I swear, I never touched her.
Ramona: Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.
Earl Keese: Enid... help me.
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Ramona: I don't care about your weight or your false teeth.
Earl Keese: I haven't got false teeth!
Ramona: I'm sorry, I guess they just look false.
Earl Keese: I haven't got false teeth!
Ramona: I'm sorry, I guess they just look false.
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Ramona: Now, I'm just going to go under the covers and take a little inventory.
Earl Keese: You're really wonderful!
Ramona: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Is it so hard having your fantasies come to life?
Earl Keese: You're really wonderful!
Ramona: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Is it so hard having your fantasies come to life?
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Vic: In light of Earl's feelings, I think it would be best if we left.
Enid Keese: Oh, no, no. Sit down, sit down. Let's finish this magnificent meat. Don't worry about Earl. He'll get over his feelings.
Vic: He spurned my sauce!
Enid Keese: No, he loves your sauce. He's just jealous, he can't cook.
Enid Keese: Oh, no, no. Sit down, sit down. Let's finish this magnificent meat. Don't worry about Earl. He'll get over his feelings.
Vic: He spurned my sauce!
Enid Keese: No, he loves your sauce. He's just jealous, he can't cook.
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Vic: Old Earl here was worried about Baby.
Enid Keese: Oh, he's no trouble at all. He's a perfect gentleman. You can leave him with me anytime you want.
Vic: Don't worry, I will.
Enid Keese: [to Earl] They spoil him awfully.
Vic: Well, I want him to have every advantage I was denied as a young dog.
Enid Keese: Oh, he's no trouble at all. He's a perfect gentleman. You can leave him with me anytime you want.
Vic: Don't worry, I will.
Enid Keese: [to Earl] They spoil him awfully.
Vic: Well, I want him to have every advantage I was denied as a young dog.
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Vic: We're waiting, or do I have to pound it out of you?
Earl Keese: Don't ever speak to me like that in my own house!
Vic: Why would I?
Earl Keese: You just did.
Vic: I didn't mean anything - it's just something a guy says.
Earl Keese: I never say it.
Vic: I don't blame you.
Earl Keese: Don't ever speak to me like that in my own house!
Vic: Why would I?
Earl Keese: You just did.
Vic: I didn't mean anything - it's just something a guy says.
Earl Keese: I never say it.
Vic: I don't blame you.
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Believe me, I know women - upside down and backwards, which is not a bad way to know 'em, huh?
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God, does it always shrivel up like that when you shower?
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Hey, Earl, want some of your daughter's panties? They come in four flavors; banana, peach, mint and, of course, CHERRY.
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I was real friendly with a boy named Earl once - well, twice really.
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Stay here on the outer limits of the dead zone? Nothing personal, but life at the end of the road just ain't for Captain Vic and Empress Ramona. Sorry, folks, but you can color us gone.
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This is crazy... but there's something so right about it.
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We haven't any children, unless Ramona just pumped one out and didn't tell me about it.
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We might have a wonderful relationship. But then, as Arthur Bremer once said: "How many things go right in this crazy world?"
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We'll get your jacket later. Right now, take me to THE SWAMP.