[Lupin, hidden behind a pillar, presents a rose for Fujiko, who gasps] [melodramatic, clears his throat]
My love is like a red, red rose!
Lupin!
What is this, English lit. 101?
[walks out to her, wearing a formal dress suit, clears his throat]
How like a rose thou art! Oh, your beauty dazzles my eyes! Your thorns pierce my heart! [smells the rose, changes back to his normal accent] And that stuff didn't come out of any book, by the way. I made that part up all by myself.
Don't give up your day job, okay? Shouldn't we get down to business?
Great. Now it's getting obscene.
I long to plant thee in my garden of love, water thee with my tears, and fertilize thee with my kisses, Fujiko!
Enough of the fertilizer, Lupin. Get that bud out of my face before I plant it.
So typical of the materialistic modern woman. [throws the rose away] All they want is expensive jewelry.
All I want is what we agreed to. [gasps] What are you babbling about? Did you find the gemstone?!
Does Santa Claus wear a red suit?
[Fujiko’s eyes widen as Lupin presents her the Philosopher’s Stone]
That's it, all right. Hand it over!
[Lupin yanks the Stone away from Fujiko] [tutting]
Fujiko! You cut me to the quick! I can't believe how unromantic you are! I mean, I risked my life to bring you this bauble, not to mention expenses! And what do I get in return for all my toil and trouble? "Hand it over." Tell me, who's the pebble for, anyway? I assume you're acting for someone else, right? So don't tell me. It doesn't really matter. The fact remains that your part of the bargain was to go on a date with me, remember?
