Vada I was born jaundiced. Once, I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and caught haemorrhoids. And I've learned to live with this chicken bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years. So, I knew my Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction. [to her Dad] Dad? I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate than my right. It could only mean one thing: Cancer. I'm dying.
Okay. Sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge?
R Ronda
He covers me like a blanket, from the cold dark night. As I look into his eyes, I know it's right. To touch, to feel. I know he's real. Flesh all amesh. Flesh all amesh. I can't fight it. There's no point. I wake up and light a joint.
B Mr. Bixler
Uhh, uh. V.. Vada.
Vada I wrote a poem, too.
Vada Ode to Ice Cream, by Vada Sultenfuss. I like ice cream a whole lot. It tastes good when days are hot. On a cone, or in a dish. This would be my only wish. Vanilla, chocolate, or Rocky Road, Even with pie a la mode. That's all I got so far.
J Justin
I hear that Vada. "Flesh all amesh" or "Rocky Road". It's all about desire.
That's a pretty ring you're wearing (looks at Vada's mood ring)
Vada It's a mood ring. It tells me what mood i'm in.
It doesn't work, it always stays black.
Vada It's only black when you're around, because you put me in a bad mood.
Maybe black means you're happy?
Vada I don't think so. Shelly how can I get $35?
She's crazy, She wants to go to school over the summer.
Vada It's not a real school, it's a writing class. I want to be a writer.
She just wants to go just because her sweetie pie's her teacher.
Vada Shut your big fat mouth!
I think you'll make a fine writer. Have you asked your dad?
Vada My mommy and daddy did that?
It's actually a very beautiful thing. And look, there wouldn't've been a Vada.
Vada I think it should be outlawed. (doorbell rings) Oh, that's probably Thomas J. I don't wanna see him.[On menstruation] It's not fair. Nothing happens to boys.
Hi Vada. Can you come out?
Vada I don't know.
Please, it's real hot, maybe we can go swimming.
Vada No! [Shoving Thomas J off her porch after getting her first period] Get outta here! And don't come back for five to seven days!
Vada Why do you think people wanna get married?
When you get older, you just have to.
Vada I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler.
You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law.
Vada It is not.
Yes it is, 'cause then he'll give you all A's and it won't be fair.
Vada Not true [Pause] Have you ever kissed anyone?
Vada Maybe we should,, just to see what's the big deal.
Vada Practice on your arms.
Like this? [They practice kissing on their arms]
Vada OK, 'nuff practice. [to Thomas J] Close your eyes.
But then I won't be able to see anything,
Vada Just do it!
OK, OK! [He closes his eyes]
Vada OK, on the count of three. [Leans over] One, two, two and a half, three [Vada and Thomas J kiss] Say something, it's too quiet.
Vada [agitated]
Just hurry!
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America...
VA Vada and Thomas J
...And to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Amen.
Vada Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown? Is it because he left you one day? Is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing, Do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in your shade, you thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping willow stop your tears, for there is something to calm your fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart, but I know he'll always be in your heart.
