Jane Smith [after shooting through a wall at John]
Still alive, baby?
2nd most-quoted character in Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005): in 10 of its 40 quotes
Most scenes with: John Smith (2), Eddie (2), John and Jane Smith (2)
Have you been selling big guns to bad people?
More lines from Jane Smith
7 quotes Jane Smith Jane Smith We re-did the house.
Jane Smith Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
Jane Smith To dodging bullets.
Jane Smith Any last words?
Jane Smith I was never in the peace corps.
Jane Smith I don't understand the question. [When she and John are asked how often they have sex]
Scenes with Jane Smith
2 scenes
I said, I said I saw your Dad on Fantasy Island!
Marriage Counselor
How often do you have sex?
Jane Smith I don't understand the question.
Girls walking by House
What's going on, Mrs. Smith?
Jane Smith Garden party, girls.
Jane Smith There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we *don't* say to each other. What's that called?
Marriage Counselor
Marriage.
Marriage Counselor
On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith 8.
Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor
Just respond instinctively.
Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith
8.
Come to Daddy.
Jane Smith [after she bashes him with a teapot and headbutts him]
Who's your Daddy now?
Dance with me.
Jane Smith You don't dance.
It was just my cover, sweetheart.
Jane Smith Was sloth part of it too?
Jane Smith [whispers]
John.
Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith Hiya back.
Jane Smith [John has just returned from shooting Lucky at the bar]
Where've you been?
I just went down to the sports bar. Put a little money on the game.
Jane Smith How'd you do?
I got Lucky.
Jane Smith Don't! C'mon! C'mon!
Jane Smith [about the new curtains Jane bought]
If you don't like them we can take them back.
All right, I don't like them.
Jane Smith [pause]
You'll get used to them.
Jane Smith You ever have trouble sleeping after?
No.
Jane Smith Me neither.
Benjamin [while being interrogated and tortured by John Smith]
Can I have a soda or a juice or...
[first session with a marriage counselor]
Ok, I'll go first. let me see... um... We don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years.
Jane Smith Six.
Jane Smith [referring to the pursuing cars]
They're bulletproof!
[Jane rolls her eyes]
How many? Ok... I'll go first, then. I don't keep exact count, but I'd say, uh, high 50s, low 60s. I mean, I know I've been around the block an all, but...
Jane Smith 312.
What? How?
Jane Smith Some were two at a time.
(Comparing body-counts, or possibly affairs.) [during a car chase]
I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith [hitting John]
You're what's wrong with me!
It was a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith Oh, that's better! That's *much* better!
Jane Smith (pause)
What's her name and social security number?
No, you're not gonna kill her.
Jane Smith My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?
Jane Smith Paid actor.
I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!
Jane Smith I know.
You know I don't even want to talk about it!
Jane Smith Wait, why do I get the girl gun?
Are you kidding me?
That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.
Jane Smith Oh, come on, it was just a little bomb.
I never went to MIT. Notre Dame. Art history major.
Jane Smith Art?
History! It's reputable.
I realise you witnessed the missus and I working through a few domestic issues. That's regrettable but don't take that to be a sign of weakness, that would be a mistake on your part.
Jane Smith Wrap it up.
Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage - sends a mixed message.
Jane Smith Sorry.
Girls. Where was I?
Benjamin Mistake on your part.
Shut up.
Did you hear the helicopter dropping me off that night for our anniversary dinner?
Jane Smith No. Oh, percussion grenades. I was partially deaf that evening.
What's new?
Same old, same old. People need killing.
Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.
Jane Smith Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.
Jane Smith You were bait.
Benjamin In a manner of speaking.
Jane Smith *Were* bait or *are* bait?
[Refering to the picture Benjamin has of John and Jane]
You get rid of it, you burn it! Tradecraft 101!
Benjamin Oh. Sorry, I guess I missed that day. Just like you missed the day of don't marry the enemy.
Lucky What? You're looking for a job or something?
You are the job.
Three ribs. Broken eye socket. Perforated eardrum.
Jane Smith I can't feel anything in these three fingers.
[talking about their predicament while in a nice restaurant]
So what do we do, Jane? Shoot it out here? Hope for the best?
Jane Smith Well, that would be bad because they would probably ask me to leave once you are dead.
Jane Smith [dancing with John, he's just finished searching her for weapons]
Satisfied?
Not for years.
Jane Smith I thought I told you not to bother me at the office, honey.
Well, you are still Mrs. Smith.
Jane Smith Well, so are a lot of girls.
That left of yours is a thing of beauty.
Jane Smith Mmm. You take it well.
