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Joel Myers: I can work with this. You will be my Mona Lisa, my Sistine Chapel. I will find the sculpture in the stone.
Gracie: Slow down, da Vinci.
Joel: How do you feel about a pushup bra?
Gracie: How do you feel about a genital-shocking taser gun?
Joel: I'm open to it.
Gracie: Okay.
Joel: How about you? Are you open to new experiences, like becoming the face of the FBI?
Gracie: I did the pageant, I can do this.
Joel: Dear, that was three days. This is your life. That was teaching a dog a few new tricks. This is teaching a dog to become a butterfly. Not that you're a dog. They generally have smoother hair.
...
Joel: And, may I say, I also recently went through a breakup.
Gracie: I didn't go through a breakup.
Joel: Puffy eyes, no sleep, irritable. And some of the other agents told me about it. But believe me, you do as I say, and you will make him regret it, because people care about people who care about themselves.
Gracie: [flicking through his folder of rules] So it's all in here?
Joel: No, it's all in here. [taps the side of her head] America wants a star. So you have to become a star. You have to dress like a star, and you have to treat your friends like you're a star. You have to treat yourself like a star. Before you know it--
Gracie: I know, I know. I'm a big star!


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