Nick Smith The cha cha is no more ridiculous than life itself.
Played by Chris Eigeman 
Metropolitan (1990) · 38 quotes
Metropolitan (1990) · 38 quotes
Most-quoted character in Metropolitan (1990): in 22 of its 38 quotes
Most scenes with: Tom Townsend (3), Charlie Black (3), Cynthia McLean (2)
Dawn in the big city. There are eight million stories out there.
More lines from Nick Smith
10 quotes Nick Smith Nick Smith I guess you could say it's extremely decadent and vulgar. I like it a lot.
Nick Smith Driver! Follow that pedestrian!
Nick Smith I've always planned to be a failure anyway. That's why I plan to marry an extremely wealthy woman.
Nick Smith Rick Von Slonecker is tall, rich, good-looking, stupid, dishonest, conceited, a bully, liar, drunk and thief, an egomaniac, and probably psychotic. In short, highly attractive to women.
Nick Smith It’s a tiny bit arrogant of people to go around worrying about those less fortunate.
Nick Smith I'm not sure if you realize this, but these girls are at a very vulnerable point in their lives. All of this is much more emotional and difficult for them than it is for us. They're on display. They have to call the guys up and invite them as escorts. And preppy girls mature socially much later than others do.
Nick Smith But, unlike you, I've always assumed I'd be a failure anyway. That's why I plan to marry an extremely rich woman.
Nick Smith The most important thing to realize about parents is that there is absolutely nothing you can do about them.
Nick Smith Playing strip poker with an exhibitionist somehow takes the challenge away.
Scenes with Nick Smith
11 scenes
Jane Clark
What are you reading?
Nick Smith The story of Babar... I'd forgotten how beautiful it was.
[after Tom disappears with Serena]
Tom's not used to places like this. Maybe he went through one of those stairway doors that lock from the inside.
Nick Smith He can't get locked in. I used to have to use those doors when people forgot to invite me to their parties.
Jane Clark
Why should we believe you over Rick? We know you're a hypocrite. We know your "Polly Perkins" story was a fabrication...
Nick Smith A composite.
Jane Clark
Whatever. And that you're completely impossible and out of control, with some sort of drug problem and a fixation on what you consider Rick Von Sloneker's wickedness. You're a snob, a sexist, totally obnoxious and tiresome, and lately you've gotten just weird. Why should we believe anything you say?
Nick Smith I am not tiresome.
Nick Smith The titled aristocracy are the scum of the earth.
You always say "titled" aristocrats. What about "untitled" aristocrats?
Nick Smith Well, I could hardly despise them, could I? That would be self-hatred.
Well, I don't think "preppy" is a very useful term. I mean, it might be descriptive for someone who is still in school or college; but, it's ridiculous to refer to a man in his 70s, like Averell Harriman, as a "preppy". And none of the other terms people use - WASP, P.L.U., et cetera - are of much use either. And that's why I prefer the term "U.H.B."
Nick Smith What?
U.H.B. It's an acronym for Urban Haute Bourgeoisie.
Is our language so impoverished that we have to use acronyms or French phrases to make ourselves understood?
Yes.
Nick Smith It's incredible, the eagerness of girls like you to justify the worst bastards imaginable... as being sensitive and shy. But if any guy who really was shy dared talk to you... you wouldn't give him the time of day - your eyes would glaze over.
You're really hung up on Rick, aren't you? He must really threaten you somehow.
Nick Smith You're right. I do feel threatened - that I may get a venereal disease from one of the St. Tim's girls he's been with.
Nick Smith [Cynthia slaps Nick]
Did you learn that from your lovemaking with Rick? I hear it can get really rough.
Nick Smith [another slap]
Don't do that again. For me, it isn't erotic.
The term 'bourgeois' has almost always been - been one of contempt. Yet it is precisely the - the bourgeoisie which is responsible for - well, for nearly everything good that has happened in our civilization over the past four centuries. You know the French film, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie? When I first heard that title I thought, "Finally, someone's gonna tell the truth about the bourgeoisie." What a disappointment. It would be hard to imagine a less fair or accurate portrait.
Well, of course. Buñuel's a surrealist. Despising the bourgeoisie is part of their credo.
Nick Smith Where do they get off?
But the truth is, the bourgeoisie does have a lot of charm.
Nick Smith Of course it does. The surrealists were just a lot of social climbers.
Nick Smith You're opposed to these parties on principle.
Yes.
Nick Smith Exactly what principle is that?
Well...
Nick Smith The principle that one shouldn't be out at night eating hors d'oeuvres when one could be home worrying about the less fortunate.
Pretty much, yes.
Nick Smith Has it ever occurred to you that you are the less fortunate?
Nick Smith You haven't seen this? Detachable collar. Not many people wear them anymore. They look much better. So many things which were better in the past have been abandoned for supposed convenience.
I had no idea anyone wore those anymore.
Nick Smith It's a small thing, but symbolically important. Our parents' generation was never interested in keeping up standards. They wanted to be happy, but, of course, the last way to be happy is to make it your objective in life.
I wonder if our generation's any better than our parents'.
Nick Smith Oh, it's far worse. Our generation's probably the worst since - the Protestant Reformation. It's barbaric, but a barbarism even worse than the old-fashioned, straightforward kind. Now barbarism is cloaked with all sorts of self-righteousness and moral superiority. Will you look at this?
You're obviously talking about a lot more than just detachable collars.
Nick Smith Yeah, I am.
Nick Smith Jane's father's dead. Very suddenly, last year.
Must have been awful for her.
Nick Smith Yes. It was tough on him too.
I don't see how you can stand him. You're always complaining about people being frauds and phoneys. This guy is the phoney of the decade, yet you act as he were your long-lost best friend.
Nick Smith Tom's hardly a phoney. Just mildly deluded. He's a perfectly nice guy.
That's just another aspect of his phoniness. He's a terrible phoney, and when he's not being a phoney, he's a bastard.
Nick Smith Oh, come on.
You saw how he treated Audrey last night.
Nick Smith Well, Audrey seems to have forgotten it.
She has to act that way. Otherwise it would be even more humiliating. But I don't have to pretend Tom Townsend is a nice guy.
Nick Smith You're really gaga about Audrey, aren't you?
If by "gaga" you mean, do I like her? Yes, I do.
Nick Smith Well, why don't you do something about it, instead of just going on and on about what a bastard Tom Townsend is.
What do I do? Declare myself? That would be an absolute disaster. I don't think I haven't thought about these things. But I think if the situation could just continue as it has been, they gradually, over time, it'd grow into something more. That, at least, is what I've been hoping for.
