Arhh! My ass. My ass hurt! Why you wanna do me like that? C'mon man! I could hook you up! We could work it out! I'll suck your dick! [gets stabbed by Leonidas' "penguin emergency" spear]
More from Meet the Spartans
Narrator In the land of Sparta, when babies were born, the elders would inspect them for defects. If any imperfections were found, the baby was rejected, and if the baby was Vietnamese, Brangelina would get first dibs.
Rambo Have you seen the new Rambo movie?
Paris Hilton Have you seen a shower?
Messenger What the hell was was that?!
Leonidas What?
Messenger You just kissed me!
Leonidas That is how men of Sparta greet one another: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men.
Meet the Spartans
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All Meet the Spartans quotes →