John quotes from Materialists (2025)

John

Why does anybody even get married?

Lucy

Because people tell them they should, and because they're lonely, and because they're hopeful.

John

You asked how I could love you. I just do; it's the easiest thing.

Lucy

I love you too. More than you know. You're the only reason I know I'm capable of love.

John

I've been doing some math.

Lucy

Yeah?

John

Yeah. And I'm ready to make you an offer.

Lucy

Okay.

John

Here's the offer.

John

I love you now like I loved you before. I'll love you till the day I die. It's a lifetime guarantee. And I won't forget it the way I used to, even when things are shit. I'll make a calendar item everyday reminding myself that I love you. I'll be your certainty. It's my final offer. You can't negotiate because I don't have anything else to offer you.

Lucy

Deal.

John

What is this?

Lucy

What is what?

John

Are we getting back together?

John

Lucy, are we getting back together?

Lucy

I don't know. I really don't.

John

So you thought you'd just show up at my door, not have a boyfriend, agree to get in my car, kiss me, **** me while you try to get over someone else, and then leave me again? Is that it? Do you think I'm worthless?

Lucy

No, I don't think that.

John

Am I disposable?

Lucy

Of course not.

John

Do you feel bad for me? 'Poor old John can't figure his life out'?

Lucy

Never.

John

Then why are you using me?

Lucy

I'm not.

John

I'm usually desperate enough to let you. I'm a beggar for you. When I see your face, I see wrinkles, and grey hair, and children who look like you... I can't help it.

John

But as your friend... I would tell you it's a bad idea to be with a 37-year-old cater waiter who still has roommates. I would say... you definitely shouldn't marry a guy that has $2,000 in his bank account in a city he can't afford, who's only still there to keep trying to be a theatre actor because someone told him he was good at it once. So, where does that leave us? Here. At someone else's wedding. I can't give you the wedding or the marriage you want. I couldn't even give you the relationship you wanted. It's been years, and I still can't afford to be with you.

John

Now, I admit, I'm not confident that I can make myself less broke.

Lucy

You don't need to worry about that. You know I can take care of myself.

John

Yeah, I know. It's not for you. It's for me. For us. You make me brave enough to admit that I want to be happy, and I want to be happy with you.

John

And I'm gonna pick up more catering shifts and ask for raise, I'll find a serving job at an actual restaurant, and I won't say no to commercial auditions, even though they're annoying... I'll make an actual effort to find a manager-

John

... And I'm going to move out of my apartment, and sell my car...

Lucy

Don't sell your car.

John

No?

Lucy

No, let's just... let's just drive around in it until it breaks down and it won't move anymore.