The Love Guru (2008) · 36 quotes
Most-quoted character in The Love Guru (2008): in 26 of its 36 quotes
A line from Guru PitkaI have two tattoos. One of them is DRAMA tattoo and the other is a picture of daffy duck pushing a lawn mower through my pubes.
Guru Pitka In my book, "If you're happy and you know it, Think again", I speak of the teachings of Intimacy, or Into-Me-I-See™. Intimacy is like putting your Wiener on a table and having someone say. 'Hey, That looks like a Penis, Only smaller!' [Laughs] Only Smaller...
Guru Pitka Although I was raised here in India, I was born in America, which is where our journey begins. It's the story of a hockey player, named Darren Roanoke. My most resistant student, who became my greatest teacher... Or some such bullshit, I don't know.
Guru Pitka Dick Pants... send him in.
Guru Pitka Guru Pitka had a farm. EIEIO. And in that farm he did no harm. EIEIO.™
Guru Pitka Milk milk lemonade this is where the fudge is made
Guru Pitka BIBLE - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth™
Guru Pitka Don't peck my **** eyes!
Guru Pitka Break the pickle...tickle, tickle.
Guru Pitka Marishka Hargitay Jessica simpson.
Guru Pitka Marishka Hargitay Val Kilmer.
Guru Pitka Marishka Hargitay... Marishka Hargitay.
Guru Pitka Tonight I want you to go from nowhere to NOW HERE.™
Guru Pitka Is it made out of dog? Is it a dog's tingy, am I being punk'd?
Guru Pitka If you ever sucker punch me again, I'll kick your ass all the way back to the keebler factory.
Guru Pitka Let's make like a baby and head out.
Guru Pitka I don't know what you're talking about. (coughs up feathers)
Guru Pitka Rajneesh, I'd like an alligator soup, and make it snappy. Because alligators are snappy, and at the same time, I want it prompt.
Guru Pitka THE ULTIMATE DISTRACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guru Pitka Well, it looks more like Gay Skin. (laughs)
Guru Pitka I lied. She is still with Le Coq, and he still has the biggest Weiner in history.
Guru Pitka I WANNA SING!
Guru Pitka Go Speedy. Ride like a cowboy.
Guru Pitka What is it you can't face? (use strong Indian accent on "can't")
Coach Punch Cherkov What's the capital of Thailand?
Guru Pitka Bangkok.
Coach Punch Cherkov Exactly. [punches Pitka in the crotch, Pitka hunches down then doubles over covering his crotch]
Guru Pitka Omar Sharif, my BALLS! OH-HOH! (drops to the ground) My balls!, AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coach Punch Cherkov Stay down, bitch.
Guru Pitka Okay.
Coach Punch Cherkov What's the capital of Thailand?
Guru Pitka Bangkok.
Coach Punch Cherkov Exactly. [punches Pitka in the crotch, chastity belt dings .
