Charlotte Haze [to Humbert]
Oh M'sieur, if what you're needing is peace and quiet, I can assure you you couldn't get more peace anywhere, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Played by Shelley Winters 
Lolita (1962) · 63 quotes
Lolita (1962) · 63 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Lolita (1962): in 17 of its 63 quotes
Most scenes with: Professor Humbert (7), Dolores 'Lolita' Haze (2)
The Haze woman...the cow...the obnoxious Mama...the brainless baba...Well, the stupid Haze is no longer your dupe....You're a monster. You're a disgusting, despicable, loathsome...fraud. Get out of my way...I'm leaving here today. You can have all of it. But you are never gonna see that miserable brat again!
More lines from Charlotte Haze
7 quotes Charlotte Haze Charlotte Haze [to Humbert]
We can go home now and have a cozy little dinner partout, huh?
Charlotte Haze [to Humbert, about Lolita]
It's only natural and healthy that she should take an interest in those fascinating creatures known as the opposite sex.
Charlotte Haze [to Humbert]
That miserable little brat. She is becoming impossible. Simply impossible. The idea! The idea of her sneaking back here and spying on us...She's always been a spiteful little pest, since the age of one. Do you know, she kept throwing her toys, her toys out of her crib so that I would have to keep stooping over to pick them up? She has always had some kind of gripe against me. Now, now she sees herself as some kind of a starlet. Well, I see her as a sturdy, healthy, but decidedly homely child. Is it my fault if I feel young? Why should my child resent it? You don't resent it, do you? Do you think I'm just a foolish, romantic American girl?
Charlotte Haze [to Lolita]
I forbid you to disturb Professor Humbert again. He is a writer and he is not to be disturbed!
Charlotte Haze [in a note to Humbert]
'This is a confession. I love you. Last Sunday in church, my dear one, when I asked the Lord what to do about it, I was told to act as I am acting now. You see, there is no alternative. I have loved you from the minute I saw you. I am a passionate and lonely woman. And you are the love of my life. Now you know. So you will please at once pack and leave. This is a landlady's order. I am dismissing the lodger. I am kicking you out. Go! Scram! Departez! I shall be back by dinnertime. I do not wish to find you in the house. You see, cherie, if you decided to stay, if I found you at home, which I know I won't, and that's why I'm able to go on like this, the fact of your remaining would only mean one thing. That you ... (He begins to hysterically and uncontrollably burst out laughing with a fiendish sound), that you want me as much as I do you, as a life-long mate. And you are ready to link up your life with mine forever and ever and be a father to my little girl. Goodbye, dear one, pray for me, if you've ever prayed.'
Charlotte Haze [to her husband Harold's ashes]
Harold, look what happened! I was disloyal to you. I couldn't help it, though. Seven years is a very long time. Why did you go and die on me?! I didn't know anything about life. I was very young. If you hadn't died, all this wouldn't have happened. Oh, darling, forgive me. Forgive me. You were the soul of integrity. How did we produce such a little beast? I promise, I promise, I promise you that I'll know better next time. Next time, it's gonna be somebody you'll be very proud of.
Scenes with Charlotte Haze
9 scenes Charlotte Yeah, this would be your room. It's what you might call a studio - well, you know, a semi-studio affair ... it's very male - [sigh] - and, uh, quiet. We're really very fortunate here in West Ramsdale. Culturally, we're a very advanced group with lots of good Anglo-Dutch and Anglo-Scotch stock. And, uh, we're very progressive - intellectually.
That is immediately apparent!
Charlotte Oh, I do hope you'll want to address our club. There's a nice view from this window - of the front lawn, and a good place for you to do your writing. [gesturing] Shelves for your books...I am Chairman of the Great Books Committee. As a matter of fact, uh, you know, one of the speakers that I had, um, last season, was, uh, Clare Quilty...The writer, TV, TV play -
No, no I wouldn't.
Charlotte Oh, he's a very stimulating type of man. He gave us a talk on, hmm, uh, Dr. Schweitzer and Doctor Zhivago.
Charlotte ...The bathroom's back here, right next door. Well, we still have that good old-fashioned quaint plumbing. It should appeal to a European. [She flushes it to demonstrate] WOOSH! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, excuse the soiled sock! I see that you're interested in art. In that case, in that case, you really must see, uh, the collection of reproductions I have in my bedroom. Voila!...Du-fee, and there's my little Van Gock, Monet. Is Mme. Humbert, umm...?
There's no Madame. We are divorced... A happy divorce.
Charlotte When did all this happen?
About a year ago, in Paris.
Charlotte Oh, Paris, France...You know, Monsieur, I really believe that it's only in the romance languages that, uh, one is able to really relate in a mature fashion. In fact, I remember when the late Mr. Haze...yes, he's passed on. But, uh, when we were on our honeymoon abroad, I-I knew that I'd never felt married until I'd had myself addressed as seniora.
You're in Spain?
Charlotte No, Mexico. He was a lovely human being. A man of complete integrity....Those are his ashes. It's very difficult for a woman, an attractive woman alone, you know, ha-ha.
Charlotte My yellow roses. My - daughter....I could offer you a comfortable home, a sunny garden, a congenial atmosphere, my cherry pies.
...
Charlotte [Humbert decides to rent the room]
What was the decisive factor? Uh, my garden?
I think it was your cherry pies!
Charlotte Oh, hello. Hello, again! Oh, it's certainly been a long time!
It certainly has, yes.
Charlotte Do you know that I've been the local authority on you ever since.
Is that so? Well, that's very sweet of you. Thank you so much.
Charlotte I'll never forget that intellectually stimulating talk that you gave to our club.
Yes, a magnificent club. Really magnificent. Tell me one thing - are you a columnist?
Charlotte No, no. Don't you remember? That afternoon changed my whole life.
Oh, well, how about that? [He chuckles]
Charlotte You remember it. [She whispers in his ear]
Did I do that? [She nods] Did I?
Charlotte And afterwards, you know, I showed you my garden. And I drove you to the airport.
Yes, really great fun. Listen, listen, din, din you have a dawda (daughter)? Din you have a dawda with a lovely name? Yeah, a lovely, what was it now, a lovely lyrical lilting name like, uh, uh...
Charlotte Lo-li-ta.
Lo-li-ta, that's right. Lolita. Diminutive of Dolores, the tears and the roses.
Charlotte I have a proposal. What say you I, uh, teach you some of the new steps, huh?
Oh Charlotte, I don't even know the old ones. And you do this so very well, I'd much rather sit down and watch you. Very good.
Charlotte Oh come on, Humbert. Ah, Humbert Humbert, what a thrillingly different name.
...
Charlotte A little more joie de vivre! You know, when you smile like that, you remind me of someone. Oh, ah, a college boy I had, uh, a date with. I went dancing with him. A young, blue-blooded Bostonian. Oh, my very first glamour date. And you know, in certain lights, you remind me of Harold..I adored Harold, I really did. I swore at the time I would never marry again. I don't think I will, but, uh, it wouldn't be fair to his memory, do you think?
No, one doesn't always find such loyalty these days.
Charlotte Shouldn't life be for the living? What think you? You see, I'm a strongly emotional woman. Very strongly emotional. Oh, don't be afraid of hurting me...Take me in your arms! Oh, I can't live in the past, not any more Hum, not any more.
Hi!
Charlotte Darling, did you come back for something?
Mona's party turned out to be sorta a drag. So I thought I'd come back and see what you two were doing.
We had a wonderful evening. Your mother created a magnificent spread.
Did you have a good time dancing with Clare Quilty?
Charlotte Of course. He's a very erudite gentleman.
Yeah, I know. All the girls are crazy about him, too.
Charlotte That's neither here nor there.
Since when?
Charlotte I have a surprise.
The Farlows have been arrested?
Charlotte Mona Farlow is leaving for summer camp tomorrow. Lolita is going with her....isolation from boys would be the best thing for both of the girls this crucial summer.
Do you think that the camp is the answer?
Charlotte Oh, frankly Hum, I do. And it's all arranged. The Farlows and I phoned the camp long distance, and I did all the shopping this ...Is something the matter with your face?
Toothache!
Charlotte Oh, you poor man.
Charlotte [Humbert is locked in the bathroom]
Dear, the door is locked. Sweetheart, I don't want any secrets between us. It makes me feel insecure.
Can't this wait 'til I come out of here?
Charlotte I suppose. Hum, what do you do in there so long? I want to talk to you.
I haven't been here long. In point of fact, I only just came in.
Charlotte Were there a lot of women in your life before me?
I've told you about them already.
Charlotte Well, you didn't tell me about all of them.
Charlotte, if it would make you any happier, I will sit right down and I will make out a complete list of every woman I have ever known. Will that satisfy you?
Charlotte Ohh, I'm lonesome...I think it's healthy for me to be jealous. It means that I love you. You know how happy I can make you.
Charlotte Darling, I don't care about any other woman. I know that our love is sacred. The others were profane.
Yeah, sacred. That's right. That's what it is, hmmm.
Charlotte Oh Hum, hum-baby, you know, I love the way you smell. You do arouse the pagan in me. Hum, you just touch me, and I-I go as limp as a noodle. It scares me.
Yes, I know the feeling.
Charlotte Do you believe in God?
The question is, 'does God believe in me?'
Charlotte [pulling out a gun]
But if I ever found out that you didn't believe in God, I think I would commit suicide. This is a Sacred Weapon, it's a tragic treasure. Mr. Haze purchased it when he found out he was ill. He wanted to spare me the sight of his suffering. Happily or unhappily, he, he was hospitalized before he could use it. Darling, you know, I have a most ambitious fantasy.
What's yours?
Charlotte I would love to get hold of a real French servant girl, you know...and have her come live in the house...We could put her in Lo's room. I've been meanin' to make a guest room out of that hole, anyway.
And where, pray, will you put your daughter, when you get your guest or your maid?
Charlotte You know, I've decided to send her straight from camp to a good boarding school, you know, with strict religious training, and then on to college. It's going to be you and me, alone forever. [Humbert's face falls] Darling, you've gone away.
