Lizzie, I'm your guy best friend, you should really talk to Miranda about this stuff.
But she's in Mexico City!
Yes, your blue robe looks way cooler than all the other girls'.
Hey! You know this Paolo and Isabella CD isn't so bad. I mean if you're into the Alanis Morissette-y alternative, dark, like brooding, I-never-go-out-into-the-sunshine-and-my-life's-a-miserable-black-hole-of-depression kinda thing, then you'd think they stink. But I mean for a like driving-around-in-the-car-with-the-top-down-putting-on-your-lip-gloss-loving-life kinda thing, they're good! Here, listen...
[he leans close so they can share the headphones]
Not bad. You use scented soap, huh?
What?
Uh... n-never mind.
What is that?
That is Miss Ungermeyer. Get on her good side, and it's your one-way ticket to an Ivy League School. But if you get on her bad side...
[passing by with mop bucket]
... excuse me, gotta clean up some vomit.
You end up like that guy?
You end up working for that guy.
When are we going to eat spaghetti?
Its like nine in the morning.
So what? You've never had spaghetti for breakfast before?
I don't eat carbs!
So I suppose you've never had a spaghetti sandwich before?
This experience is so totally wasted on you...
Craft! Sanders! Separate!
Oh, we did! And thank god!
Ok, let's try something at your education level and take a ten minute shopping break while I choke down an espresso.
You tell us where Lizzie is or this deck is gonna catch some serious air!
Well it's possible that she's at the Italian Music Video Awards doubling for the Italian pop star Isabella who's like totally her twin.
[pause]
Why does everyone always look at me like that?
The sting.
What sting?
You want a little mano a mano?
See, this is one of the reasons that me and you aren't friends. 'Cause I-I never have any idea what you're talking about.
Ya, see. Some dudes get the approach. Others, the sting. That Italian dude? He's big-time approach.
I actually feel my brain turning into goo.
Embrace the sting. That's what you're vibin' here from Lizzie.
Wait a minute. Now, you actually think that I'm jealous of Paolo.
Word.
[chuckling]
Oh, no. No, see, that would mean that I like Lizzie as more than a friend.
See? What do you mean you and I have trouble communicating, bro?
[annoyed]
You're wrong, man!
[Isabella stands opposite Lizzie, and Gordo is freaked out by the resemblance]
Freaky, huh?
Way freaky!
[in her Italian accent]
Way, way freaky!
[Jo McGuire is trying to get assistance from the hotel desk clerk]
That's McGuire, Lizzie McGuire.
Yes, we are in the travel guides.
No, no, we're the parents of Lizzie.
Ah. l Via Liuzzi. I call a cab. Is very far.
Anyone else want to get up to the plate?
[holding up a tabloid picture]
Who is this girl? I've been on the island this whole time...
[crawls underneath the mob]
I can explain. That's my friend, Lizzie McGuire.
[He is dragged up to his feet by two security guards] [to security guards]
Put him down, put him down. [looks around, turns to Gordo] We need to talk... in private.
[Isabella pulls him away]
