Uncle Max [Ma: Something's different about Timon.]
You think? HE'S WEARING A DRESS!!!
Played by Jerry Stiller 
The Lion King 1½ (2004) · 46 quotes
The Lion King 1½ (2004) · 46 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in The Lion King 1½ (2004): in 8 of its 46 quotes
Most scenes with: Timon (3), Pumbaa (2), Ma (2)
This is no time for horseplay, Timon. You’re supposed to be up there looking out for... [Looks at Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed] HYENAS!!!
More lines from Uncle Max
4 quotes Uncle Max Uncle Max I flinched when I should have scurried.
Uncle Max Scurry, sniff, flinch! Scurry, sniff, flinch! Scurry, sniff, flinch! Good. Now, what do we do if we see a hyena? (Timon: Scream, "Mommy!"?) That's right, mister! Because the world out there is fraught with danger. Fraught, I tell you! Even all bloodthirsty hyenas are waiting to rip us limb from limb! (Timon: Bravo, Uncle Max. Way to sell it to the cheap seats.) Applaud now, shonny boy, but try clapping when you don't have any hands.
Uncle Max No, I haven't seen Timon. And what a day it's been! No fractures, no lacerations, no concussions, contusions or injuries of any sort. As a matter of fact, there's no sign of Timon's handiwork anywhere! (the ceiling of the tunnel collapses) That's would be... [cries out in anger] TIMON!!!
Scenes with Uncle Max
3 scenes
[at the end of the film]
Well, that's it. The big wrap-up. The happy ending. The grand finale.
It's over already?
Well, Pumbaa, that's the thing about endings. They come at the end.
Oh, can we watch it again?
Pumbaa, we just saw it. Maybe tomorrow.
[enters]
Hey, what're you guys doin'? [notices the film and gasps] You didn't tell me you were watching the movie! I wanna watch, too!
Ma! We just finished! Show's over!
Well, you're just gonna hafta rewind it. [runs the film back]
Ma!
Uncle Max! We're gonna watch the movie!
Oh, no!
Max [enters with popcorn]
Hey, I brought extra butter!
Simba
[enters]
Hey, you guys are watching the movie?
Snow White
Oh, excuse me.
Dwarves
[one by one, save for Grumpy]
Excuse me.
Grumpy
Get outta the way.
Who is this crowd? Hey! Down in front!
Goofy
[Stitch bounces repeatedly from one character to another]
Gawrsh!
Stitch
Aloha!
Sure you don't mind?
Hakuna matata.
[The scene transitions to the open savanna. Timon and Uncle Max stand on a rock beneath a short tree. Uncle Max scurries along the ground, sniffs the air, then flinches.]
Uncle Max: Scurry, sniff, flinch! [Uncle Max repeats the demonstration. Timon stands on the ground nearby, leaning one-armed against the tree.] Scurry, sniff, flinch! [Timon rolls his eyes.] Scurry, sniff, flinch! [Uncle Max tucks a stick under his arm like a he's a drill sergeant.] Good. Now, [Uncle Max slides down the rock to the ground and walks side-by-side with Timon.] what do we do if we see a hyena?
Scream, "Mommy!"?
[Timon and Uncle Max pause. Uncle Max points his finger at Timon.] Uncle Max: That's right, mister! Because [Uncle Max grabs Timon by the shoulder and points a finger again at the savanna.] the world out there is fraught with danger. [Uncle Max shakes Timon.] Fraught, I tell you!
Oh, boy. It's the fraught fest.
Uncle Max: [in the background] Even all bloodthirsty hyenas are waiting to rip us limb from limb!
Bravo, Uncle Max. [Timon claps.] Way to sell it to the cheap seats.
[Uncle Max seizes Timon by the wrists.] Uncle Max: Applaud now, sonny boy! [severely] But try clapping when you don't have any hands.
[Uncle Max stalks offscreen. Timon stares at his hands.]
*gulps* [Timon darts onto the rock. He scurries along the ground, sniffs the air, then flinches.] Scurry, sniff, flinch. [The savanna is peaceful and quiet. Timon looks back and forth. He repeats the exercise.] Scurry, sniff, flinch. [The savanna is peaceful and quiet. Music starts playing softly.] Huh. [Timon smiles.] I like the sound of that. [Timon repeats the exercise.] Scurry, sniff, flinch. [The savanna is peaceful and quiet. Timon continues to repeat the exercise. As he does so, he begins to dance, more and more flamboyantly.] Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch! ♪ There's more to life than panic and bein' some other guy's snack. [Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed emerge from behind a nearby rock.] Eugh! [Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed duck out of view.] I may be delicious, organic, [Timon swings his fists at the air.] but this little entree's fightin' back! [Timon swings his fist so hard that he spins around several times. He begins strutting across the rock, then grabs onto the tree's trunk.] I'm gonna put diggin' tunnels behind me and live at a new altitude. [Timon climbs up onto a branch and throws an armful of leaves into the air.] I'm gonna reach for the stars to remind me that meerkats are not merely food! [Timon steps onto a nearby cloud.] For once I'll be [Timon surfs away on the cloud.] lookin' out for me. [The cloud drifts into an idyllic jungle paradise.] Yeah! [Timon dives off the cloud into a waterfall below.] I'll tell you what I want. [Timon slides down the waterfall.] This cat is movin' on, [The momentum of Timon's fall throws him into the air.] where he's a bon vivant [Timon dives into a pool below.] who's missin' out on bon. [Timon swims underwater.] I'd be a bigger cheese far from the desert scene. [Timon disappears into a school of fish, which turns into a pile of butterflies.] A little cooling breeze. [The butterflies part one by one.] A little patch of green! [The butterflies part fully to reveal Timon holding a drink and lounging in a hammock by a waterfall. Two peacocks fan him with their tails.] And I'll be snoozin' in my hammock by a rippling stream, many miles from any tunnel and the digging team. [A pile of grubs dominates the screen. The grubs partially morph into Timon's face.] Looking after number one will be my only creed. That's all I need. [Timon eats the grubs.] *slurps* [Timon lifts his hands into the air.] That's all I need! [Timon dances the "Shuffle Off to Buffalo" atop a mound of grubs.] I've always been good at runnin' away. [Timon switches directions and repeats the dance.] Well, now, I'm gonna run the show-oh! [The lights darken overhead, and the jungle backdrop slides offscreen, as if it's part of a theater production. Timon stands alone on his rock in the savanna.] I've always been seen as the ultimate prey, [Timon lifts his hands into the air.] but now, my status ain't so quo! [Banzai and Ed emerge on either side of Timon.] A dream sublime. [Shenzi emerges behind Timon, who lifts his hands into the air.] It's hyena time! [Shenzi claps, startling Timon.] Oh! ♪
Shenzi
[After the That's All I Need song] [applauds]
Oh, look, it's dinner and a show.
Banzai
[snickers evilly]
And I thought beans were the only musical food. [Ed laughs evilly]
Hy... Hy... Hy...
Shenzi
Well, hi to you, too. [smacks Timon with her paw, who rolls down the hill]
Uncle Max This is no time for horseplay, Timon. You're supposed to be up there looking out for... [Shenzi, Ed and Banzai the hyenas go near] HYENAS!!!
Banzai
[The meerkats gasp, then run and scatter in panic, while screaming and waving their hands in the air.] [Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed stand over the meerkat colony running in horror and fear, watching them.]
Whoa, look at 'em scramble!
Shenzi
[Shenzi crouches.]
And that's just how I like them...
Uncle Max [Uncle Max, who is running, pulls up short.]
*screams*
Shenzi
Scrambled...
[Shenzi licks Uncle Max, lifting him into the air.] Uncle Max:' *screams*
Shenzi
And a little bit runny.
[The colony runs around in a panic.]
*scream* [Several meerkats race past Timon, who ducks, with his hands covering his head.] Hyenas!
Shenzi and Banzai
[Shenzi and Banzai race after the meerkats, ignoring Timon.]
*laugh*
Ed
[Ed races after Shenzi and Banzai, ignoring Timon.]
*laughs*
[From behind, a hand grabs Timon and starts to drag him into a hole in the ground. He resists, but is eventually pulled underground. It is revealed that the hand belongs to Ma.]
Get in here! What are you, a meshugginah? [shakes Timon]
[Several meerkats dive for cover in a hole in the ground, while Ed snaps at them.]
*whimper* [Ed continually misses the meerkats, who slip by him to safety.] *screams* Whoa!
Ed
[Uncle Max runs for the hole, but Ed covers it with both paws and grins evilly.]
*laughs*
Uncle Max [Uncle Max skids to a halt.]
*gasps*
Ed
[Ed grins down at Uncle Max, tongue lolling.]
*laughs*
Stumpy
[from offscreen]
Here!
Flinchy?
Flinchy
[from offscreen]
Here!
Swifty?
Swifty
[from offscreen]
Here!
Uncle Max [Uncle Max runs from Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed.]
*screams*
Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed
*yip*
Meerkat
[Uncle Max dodges several attacks from Shenzi and Banzai.]
Max! Run for your life!
Meerkat
[from offscreen]
Play dead!
Meerkat
[from offscreen]
Ándale!
Meerkat
[from offscreen]
Almost there!
[The channel suddenly changes to the show, revealing a woman talking about the purse.]
Hey, what's going on? Pumbaa, you're sitting on the remote?
[realizes]
Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie. [changes it back to Uncle Max being chased by hyenas]
[After the hyena chase; The meerkat stare at Timon.]
I, uh... I guess I owe everyone an apology. All right, so I made a teensy mistake, like we all haven't broken into song on sentry duty before uh-haha come on, let me have a show of hands! Okay. [a short pause] Maybe it's a little too soon but I'm sure we're all going to laugh about this someday. Trust me.
Uncle Max [sternly]
I did trust you.
But--.
[The meerkats starts to leave. Ma worriedly looks at Timon before leaving.]
