'm a Peeping Tom, Rog, it goes with the badge. And sometimes it's fun, too.
Roger Murtaugh
Danny Glover · 19 quotes
Martin Riggs
Mel Gibson · 18 quotes
Most scenes together: Roger Murtaugh & Leo Getz (14), Martin Riggs & Roger Murtaugh (9), Martin Riggs & Leo Getz (9)
Lethal Weapon 2 quotes
Page 1 of 3'm not a cop tonight, Roger, it's personal. 'm not a cop.
'm surprised you haven't heard about me, you know, I got a bad reputation, sometimes I just go nuts, like now. [Crazy giggle]
Captain Ed Murphy
I got something special for you boys. A guy by the name of Getz, Leo Getz has been placed in protective custody. And you two guys are gonna babysit him until Washington sends out the feds.
How long?
Captain Ed Murphy
Soon as all the red tape is processed. Couple, three days. This guy Getz is gonna testify before a commission of inquiry. Drugs, laundered money, et cetera, et cetera. This is not a shit assignment.
Captain Ed Murphy
No, it isn't.
It is.
Captain Ed Murphy
It isn't.
Captain, it's a shit assignment.
Captain Ed Murphy
Shut up, the both of ya.
Captain Ed Murphy
[Another cop comes in and hands the Captain a file.]
I guaranteed this guy's safety.
Why us?
Captain Ed Murphy
Because you two are the most qualified for the job. And, after last night, you could use the break.
I can handle last night.
What are we supposed to do with him?
Captain Ed Murphy
How the hell should I know? Take him to Disneyland.
Oh, this stinks. This stinks. This stinks!
Captain Ed Murphy
I don't give a ****, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say, "I don't give a ****." Now here's where he's staying. It's a nice hotel; all the expenses are being picked up by the Justice Dept, so enjoy yourselves. :[They start to leave] And Riggs, one more thing!
Captain Ed Murphy
[Tosses him a small 'no smoking' sign.]
You know what that says?
Yeah, yeah, same thing as that. [Points to the large 'no smoking' sign next to him on the door, smirking.] But I don't give a ****. [Throws the small placard back and walks out.]
You're lucky. I have to live with that.
Consulate Envoy What can I do for you today?
Okay, I have this problem, this very delicate matter. I have a friend of mine, wants to emigrate to South Africa.
Consulate Envoy Yes, of course. I can certainly help him do that.
Oh sure. But I want you to talk him out of it.
Consulate Envoy Talk him out of it?
Yeah.
Consulate Envoy Whatever for?
W-well, you see, this is such a bad time for him to go to South Africa. I mean with all the trouble and everything, okay.
Consulate Envoy Look, why don't you ask your friend to come back later in the week. We can sit down-
No, he's here. He's here.
Consulate Envoy He's here?
Yeah, he's here now.
Consulate Envoy Where?
Alphonse! Alphonse?
Consulate Envoy [Dumbstruck]
I think there must be some mistake.
Say what?
Consulate Envoy Sir, listen to your friend, here. He knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa.
Why not?
Consulate Envoy B-Because you're black.
Don't try and stop me, Rog.
Yeah, 've seen that look in your eyes before.
They declared war on the police.
Shut up.
okay, I get it. Bad cop, good cop.
shut up
Okay, okay, bad cop, bad cop. I know the routine
Don’t try and stop me, Rog.
Yeah, I’ve seen that look in your eyes before.
They declared war on the police.
You know about that?
I heard it on the radio.
We don’t have the authority.
Cavanaugh...Wyler...Shapiro...Rika, Vicky— How much **** authority do you need?
You got a plan?
Drive around the front of the house...wait for my signal...and then just go in and shoot those ****ers.
They got Leo.
Wait. What’s your signal?
You’ll know it when it happens.
Somehow, I think I will know.
Japanese?
Well, it's a Japanese radio
Maybe they bought the LAPD too
They own everything else.
Rigs, we're not going to the **** stilt house. We're under orders!
Well then the stilt house is gonna have to come to me. You don't understand, Rog, they killed them both. They killed them both. They got Rika and my wife.
We don't have the authority.
Cavanaugh, Wyler, Shapiro, ... Rika, Vicky. How much **** authority do you need?
What's your signal?
You'll know it when it happens.
Somehow, I think I will know.
[After freeing himself from a straitjacket by dislocating his shoulder, for the amusement of the other cops]
Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.
Dr. Stephanie Woods
My door is always open.
Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc?
Dr. Stephanie Woods
Why do you do this to yourself Riggs?
Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? [Indicates the other cops] None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money.
[after Riggs and Murtaugh give Leo a tuna sandwich from the drive-thru]
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me! Fellas!
What?
Excuse me, guys. This is tuna. I hate tuna, okay? I refuse to get stuck with tuna. Now, come on.
Hey, Leo, don't eat the tuna.
Oh, where were you? I just said that. I'm not eating this. I'm not eating tuna. Come on. Let's go back.
We're not goin' back. So, just shut up!
Oh, sure. Don't go back. Okay. Okay, don't go back. That's it. Can I give you two guys a friendly piece of advice, okay? Don't ever go up to the drive-thru! Okay? Always walk up to the counter. You know why? Okay. Okay. They **** you at the drive-thru! Okay?! They **** you at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got ****! Okay? They know you're not gonna turn around and go back. So they don't care. Who gets ****? Oh, Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a ****! I'm not eatin' this tuna! Okay?!
Riggs and Murtaugh
SHUT UP!!
Yeah.
Ok, here... I'm who I am...
Mm-hmm.
You're a drug dealer. I work in a bank, ok? Ok, now, you have money that you hafta have laundered: Whaddya do?
I bring it to you.
Uh uh... [points to Murtaugh] He does.
Me? Uh, I-I don't understand. Uh, why me? Who am I?
Ok, ok, ok, I'll tell ya. You're a carrier. You work for him. [points back to Riggs]
I'm the drug dealer.
Right. [is disgusted at how sloppy Riggs and Murtaugh are eating their food] Don'tchu have PLATES? [offers them napkins] Here, come on, what is this? Come on, guys. Ok... I deposit the cash... into the account of a dummy finance company. Now... [to Murtaugh] then, I issue you a cashier's check... [back to Riggs] in his name. Minus a small commission for myself, ok? [notices Riggs is now cleaning his gun] The spring goes in the other en—
You like breathing?
H-How much?
2% standard. Now...
Not bad, Leo. Pretty prosperous, huh?
Ok, you like it? Ok, ok, so... [back to Riggs] You give it back to me as collateral on a loan that I make to you, but you don't pay back the loan. You KEEP the money.
Eh, how's that work?
How's "what"? That's it, don'tchu get it? It's your money, you don't pay it back. It's yours.
Yeah.
And it's CLEAN! It is now... laundered.
[Riggs and Murtaugh are both silent.]
You cops aren't too bright, are you? Ok, ok, okokokok, here... THIS is the best part, you got it? You take a tax deduction... on interest payments that you don't even make. Am I an innovator? Am I a genius?
You're a swindler...
Cheat.
Come onnn... everybody cheats a little bit; look at the Pentagon!