Pooh Bear, just get in the car.
No. [starts walking away, sniffling]
You're gonna ruin your shoes.
Elle
Reese Witherspoon · 29 quotes
Vivian
Selma Blair · 6 quotes
Emmett
Luke Wilson · 4 quotes
Paulette Bonafonté
Jennifer Coolidge · 4 quotes
Warner Huntington III
Matthew Davis · 4 quotes
Brooke
Ali Larter · 3 quotes
Professor Callahan
Victor Garber · 3 quotes
Professor Stromwell
Holland Taylor · 3 quotes
Serena
Alanna Ubach · 3 quotes
Emmett Forrest
1 quote
Most scenes together: Elle & Vivian (4), Elle & Warner Huntington III (4), Elle & Emmett (2)
Legally Blonde quotes
Page 2 of 4You got into Harvard Law?
What? Like, it's hard?
Elle, if I'm gonna be a senator by the time I'm 30, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
So, you're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
No, that's not entirely true—
Then what? My boobs are too big?
[Everyone in the restaurant hears this and turns to their table] [whispers]
Your boobs are fine.
(In the checkout line at an electronics store, Emmett encounters Elle, dressed in a Playboy bunny suit, waiting to buy a laptop.) (clears throat)
Don't ask.
Wasn't gonna.
[After being escorted into the courtroom by the bailiff, Brooke smiles at Callahan intently after learning the truth from Emmett.]
What are you so happy about? You're on trial for murder.
Get up.
What?
You're fired. I have new representation.
Who?!
[Callahan is shocked when Elle returns to the courtroom escorted by Dorky Dave.]
Admissions Rep 1
[After watching Elle's video essay, many of the Harvard's faculty looked a bit dismayed, especially the head of admissions]
She does have a 4.0 from CULA and she got a 179 on LSATs.
Head of Admissions Fashion major?
Admissions Rep 1
Well, sir, we've never had one before and aren't we always looking for diversity?
Admissions Rep 2
[Another Admissions representative looks through Elle's portfolio]
Her list of extra-curricular activities is impressive.
Head of Admissions She was in a Ricky Martin video.
Admissions Rep 1
Clearly, she's interested in music.
Head of Admissions She also designed a line of faux-fur panties for her sorority's charity project.
Admissions Rep 1
Uh-huh, she's a friend to the animals as well as a philanthropist.
Head of Admissions Elle Woods. [pauses] Welcome to Harvard.
[Elle is looking at a magazine and sees a picture of Warner's older brother and his fiancée]
Oh, my God! Do you know who this is?
Old Lady
No.
That’s Warner's older brother.
Old Lady
Who?
[Elle reads article about Warner's brother and his fiancée]
This is the type of girl Warner wants to marry. This is what I need to become to be serious.
Old Lady
What? Practically deformed?
No... a law student.
[Elle is presiding at her sorority meeting]
It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin.... to generic! All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye".
Entire Sorority Group
Aye.
Enrique Salvatore [Elle is waiting in line at the water fountain, where Enrique Salvatore is taking too long. Elle taps her foot impatiently.]
Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey.
These aren't last season.... [looks down, gasps, and runs back into court room] He's gay! Enrique is gay!
[Emmett and Vivian are visiting Brooke in jail. When Vivian makes a rude comment about Elle and Callahan, Emmett is displeased with her unprofessional behavior, as he knew the whole truth about Callahan's advances on Elle.] (to Vivian)
You have no idea what you're talking about.
What's going on?
Elle quit. Callahan hit on her so she quit.
Oh, my god. Scumbag.
What?
I feel so terrible, I made a huge mistake.
Well, there's something we can do about it.
Aaron Mitchell
I was first in my class at Princeton, I have an I.Q. of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time…from my fourth grade paper.
Maurice Oh, my God, the bend and snap! Works every time.
A legal education means you will learn to speak in a new language. You will be taught to achieve insight into the world around you. And to sharply question what you know.
If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, you're not the girl I thought you were.
Professor Stromwell [writing on the board]: "Law is reason, free from passion." Does anyone know who wrote those immortal words?
David [raising his hand]: Aristotle.
Professor Stromwell [approaching him]: Are you sure?
David Yes.
Would you be willing to stake your life on that?
David [thoughtful pause]: I think so.
And what about...[pokes random student with her pointer] his life?
David [nervously]: I...I don't know.
I recommend knowing before speaking. The law leaves much room for interpretation, but very little room for self-doubt. [faint smile] And you were right. It was Aristotle.