Jimmy Dix [to himself]
Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He'd shoot everybody and smoke some cigarettes.
Played by Damon Wayans 
The Last Boy Scout (1991) · 36 quotes
The Last Boy Scout (1991) · 36 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The Last Boy Scout (1991): in 13 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: Joe Hallenbeck (9)
I figure you gotta be the dumbest guy in the world, Joe. You're trying the save the life of the man who ruined your career, and avenge the death of the guy that **** your wife.
More lines from Jimmy Dix
3 quotes Jimmy Dix Jimmy Dix [Jimmy has just survived being thrown off an overpass and is now trying to calm startled motorists]
It's okay. It's okay, folks. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Thank you. Danger is my middle name. Don't try this at home, folks. I'm a trained professional. There's me, and there's Super Dave.[Passes out]
Jimmy Dix If you go any faster we're gonna travel back through time.
Scenes with Jimmy Dix
9 scenes
I believe in love, I believe in cancer.
Jimmy Dix What, they're both diseases?
Yea, something like that.
Jimmy Dix I want to meet the bitch that **** you up.
Jimmy Dix Man, you couldn't protect a cup of warm piss.
Jimmy Dix Excuse me?
Come on, chicken shit. Bust me in the chops. You don't think an old guy like me could hurt ya, do ya Jimmy?
Jimmy Dix So now you know my name?
James Alexander Dix. Quarterback for the L.A. Stallions, '89-'90. Banned from the league on gambling charges, allegations of drug abuse. Another tragic tale of wasted youth.
Jimmy Dix [stands up from his chair]
Now you're starting to piss me off.
It's about ****in' time. I'm Joe Hallenbeck.
Jimmy Dix You're like a ****in' lowlife to me.
At least I didn't shit my talent away on coke.
[Jimmy tries to punch Joe, who subsequently blocks his punch and pushes him on the ground] [noticing his spilled whiskey]
I spilled my warm cup of piss.
Jimmy Dix It ain't right.
No, it ain't right. [sighs]
This ain't no game, flash. Real guns, real bullets. It's dangerous.
Jimmy Dix Danger's my middle name.
Mine's Cornelius. You tell anybody, I'll kill you.
Jimmy Dix You ever watch "Soul Train"?
Shut the **** up.
Hey flash, rescue attempt?
Jimmy Dix Blow me.
You must be James.
Jimmy Dix [sarcastically]
James?
He does that with everybody. He calls me Joseph.
I trust you're alone.
Jimmy Dix No, I got the ****in' Vienna Boys Choir with me. What, is everybody stupid around here?
Jimmy Dix Hey, man. You ever play ball? You've got a good build.
What are you, a ****?
Jimmy Dix No, I'm just trying to break the ice.
I like ice. Leave it the **** alone.
Jimmy Dix Oh, you're a lot of fun to be with.
Jimmy Dix [Hallenbeck and Dix are trying to tell the bodyguards in a car about a bomb]
Okay, you pull up and I yell at them.
What?!
Jimmy Dix Pull up next to them, I'll roll my window down and yell at them!
That's the lamest **** plan I ever heard!
Jimmy Dix Can we try it?!
It's bulletproof glass, they're not gonna hear you, you moron!
[Dix takes out a sheet of paper and a pen and starts drawing something]
Now what are you doing?
Jimmy Dix I'm drawing them a picture.
What is that?
Jimmy Dix It's a bomb.
It doesn't look like a bomb, it looks like an apple with lines coming out of it! They're gonna say, "don't open the briefcase, it's full of fresh fruit"!
Jimmy Dix You wanna draw the damn thing?
Jimmy Dix [As they pull alongside the bodyguards' car Dix scrawls "BOM" below his drawing] [shows Hallenbeck the drawing]
Happy?
Are you kidding me?
Jimmy Dix [Dix puts the drawing up against his window, showing it to the bodyguards]
Always criticizing my shit. I can't do nothing right.
Jimmy Dix [The bodyguards look at the drawing, then shoot at Dix and Hallenbeck]
Oh, shit!
I forgot to tell you. "Bom" means "**** you" in Polish.
Jimmy Dix Hey, that's not funny, man! I almost bought it there!
Tragic loss to the art world, let me tell ya.
Jimmy Dix No.
"Then we're alive."
Jimmy Dix So, what else?
Well, there's not much more to tell than that. Water's wet, the sky's blue. And old Satan Claus, Jimmy, he's out there. And he's just getting stronger.
Jimmy Dix So what do we do about that?
Be prepared, son. That's my motto. "Be prepared."
Jimmy Dix [Joe noticed Jimmy using drugs in his bathroom, and kicks him out.]
I use that shit to get by.
I don't use it; I get by. Get dressed and get out.
Jimmy Dix [As he is putting on his clothes]
Oh, right, I forgot: talkin' to "Dudley" ****in' "Do-Right"! Shit happens real easy, man. It starts out... painkillers. Usin' Demerol because your ****in' KNEES are shot! 'Fore you know it, you're chewin'... codeine with your pancakes. And then a truck comes out of nowhere, and you're talkin' to God. And you're sayin' "Hey... help me out, Big Guy. I pay taxes. I go to church. What's with this "dead WIFE AND KID" SHIT?! But He ain't answerin'. He ain't takin' no calls that day. Instead I get a call from the ****in' League, and they're sayin' "Hey, kid, your career's over." I say "Why?" Because I gambled. WHY is there a ****in' INJURY REPORT in pro football, huh?! Nobody else has one: pro football does! You know why? It's so the GAMBLERS will have a ****in' accurate spread! It's all business now! They PUSH you until you blow your ****in' BRAINS out, just like Billy Cole did! Can't you see those ****IN' HYPOCRITES TOOK AWAY MY ****IN' LIFE?!!
[in a pensive tone]
When you're done feelin' sorry for yourself, the front door's that way.
Jimmy Dix You bastard...
