Kill Bill: Volume 2 2004 quotes

28 quotes · 4 characters
Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004) poster
Characters

Most scenes together: Bill & The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo (6), Bill & Elle Driver (3), The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo & Elle Driver (3)

Kill Bill: Volume 2 quotes

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[coming down the stairs after talking to Pai Mei]

He'll accept you as his student.

What happened to you?

[who has a bruise]

Nothing.

Get in a fight?

Friendly contest.

Why did he accept me?

Because he's a very, very, very old man, and like all rotten bastards, when they become old, they get lonely. Which has no effect on their dispositions, but it does teach them the value of company.

[He throws her the baggage]

Well, just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have a lot of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that ****er.

When will I see you again?

That's the name of my favorite soul song of the seventies.

What?

Nothing. When he tells me you're done.

When do you think that might be?

That, my dearest, depends entirely on you. Now, remember: no sarcasm, no backtalk. At least not for the first year or so. You're gonna have to let him warm up to you. He hates Caucasians, despises Americans, and has nothing but contempt for women, so in your case … it might take a little while. Adiós.

Do you find me sadistic? You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough, even now, to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. This moment, this is me at my most … masochistic.

Bill, it's your bab–
[Bill shoots The Bride]

I was just admiring your sword. Quite a piece of work. Speaking of which, how is Hanzo-san?

He's good.

Has his sushi gotten any better?

[The Bride shakes her head]

You know, I couldn't believe it. You got him to make you a sword.

It was easy. I just dropped your name, Bill.

[chuckles]

That'd do it.

Mommy is still angry at Daddy.

B.B.

Why?

Well, sweety, I love Mommy, but I did to Mommy what you did to Emilio.

B.B.

You stomped on Mommy?

Worse. I shot Mommy. Not pretend shoot, like we were just doing. I shot her for real.

B.B.

Why? Did you want to see what would happen?

No, I knew what would happen to Mommy if I shot her. What I didn't know is, when I shot Mommy, what would happen to me.

B.B.

What happened?

I was very sad. And that was when I learned, some things, once you do, they can never be undone.

Now, when it comes to you, and us, I have a few unanswered questions. So, before this tale of bloody revenge reaches its climax, I'm going to ask you some questions, and I want you to tell me the truth. However, therein lies the dilemma. Because, when it comes to the subject of me, I believe you are truly and utterly incapable of telling the truth – especially to me, and least of all to yourself. And, when it comes to the subject of me, I am truly and utterly incapable of believing anything you say.

How do you suppose we solve this dilemma?

Well! It just so happens I have a solution.
[He shoots The Bride with a dart filled with Truth Serum]

Pai Mei taught you the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique?

Of course he did.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know … because I'm a bad person.

No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person. But every once in a while, you can be a real ****.

So, which "R" you filled with?

What?

They say the number one killer of old people is retirement. People got a job to do, they tend to live a little bit longer so they can do it. I've always figured that warriors and their enemies share the same relationship. So, now that you're not gonna have to face your enemy no more on the battlefield, which "R" you filled with? Relief … or regret?

A little bit of both.

Horseshit. I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both. But I know damn well that you feel one more than you feel the other. And the question was, which one is it?

[pause]

Regret.

You're telling me she cut her way through eighty-eight bodyguards before she got to O-Ren?

Nah, there weren't really eighty-eight of them. They just called themselves "The Crazy 88".

How come?

I don't know, I guess they thought it sounded cool. Anyhow, they all fell under her Hanzo sword.

She's got a Hanzo sword?

He made one for her.

Didn't he swear a blood oath to never make another sword?

It would appear he has broken it.

Them Japs sure know how to hold a grudge, don't they? [laughs] Or maybe … you just tend to bring that out in people. […]

I know this is a ridiculous question before I ask it, but you haven't by chance kept up with your sword play?

[shakes his head]

I...umm... I pawned that years ago.

You hocked a Hattori Hanzo sword!

Yeah.

It was priceless.

[chuckles]

Well not in El Paso, it ain't. In El Paso, I got me $250 for it. I'm a bouncer in a titty bar, Bill. If she wants to fight with me, all she has to do is come down to the club and start some shit and we'll be in a fight.

I know we haven't spoken in some time, and the last time we spoke wasn't the most pleasant. But you've got to get over being mad at me and start becoming afraid of Beatrix, because she is coming, and she's coming to kill you. And unless you accept my assistance, I have no doubt she will succeed.

[stares hard at Bill]

I don't dodge guilt, and I don't jew out of paying my comeuppance.

Can't we just forget the past?

That woman deserves her revenge, and we deserve to die. [considers] But then again, so does she. So I guess we'll just see … won't we?

Bill.

Wrong brother, you hateful bitch.

Budd.

Bingo!

And to what do I owe this dubious pleasure?

I just caught me a cowgirl that ain't never been caught.

Did you kill her?

Well, not yet I ain't. I shot her full of rock salt. She's so gentle right now, I could perform a coup de grâce with a rock. Anyhow, guess what I'm holding in my hand right now.

What?

Brand spankin' new Hattori Hanzo sword. Let me tell you, Elle, that's what I call sharp.

How much?

Well, that's hard to say, being that it's priceless and all.

What's the terms?

Get your bony ass down here early in the morning, with a million dollars in cash, and I give you the greatest sword ever made by man. How do you like the sound of that?

Sounds like we got a deal. One condition.

What?

She must suffer to her last breath.

Well, that, little darlin', I can pretty much damn well guarantee.

Then I'll see you in the morning … millionaire.

I was wondering, just between us girls, what did you say to Pai Mei for him to snatch out your eye?

I called him a miserable old fool.

Ooh, bad idea.

You know what I did? I killed that miserable old fool. I poisoned his fishheads. And I told him, "To me the word of an old fool like you is worth less than nothing." That's right, I killed your master. And now I'm going to kill you, with your own sword, no less, which, in the very immediate future, will become my sword.

Bitch. You don't have a future.

Master …

Pai Mei

Your Mandarin is lousy. It causes my ears great discomfort. You bray like an ass! You are not to speak unless spoken to. Is it too much to hope … you understand Cantonese?

I speak Japanese very well …

Pai Mei

I didn't ask if you speak Japanese … I asked if you understand Cantonese?

A little.

Pai Mei

You are here to learn the mysteries of Kung Fu, not linguistics. If you can't understand me, I will communicate with you like I would a dog! When I yell, when I point, when I beat you with my stick! [strokes his beard] Bill is your master, is he not?

Yes, he is.

Pai Mei

Your master tells me … you're not entirely unschooled. What training do you possess?

I am proficient in Tiger-Crane Style, and I am more than proficient in the exquisite art of the Samurai sword.

Pai Mei

Hmph! The exquisite art of the Samurai sword. Don't make me laugh! Your so-called exquisite art is only fit for … Japanese fatheads! [laughs] Your anger amuses me. Do you believe you are my match?

No.

Pai Mei

Are you aware I kill at will?

Yes.

Pai Mei

Is it your wish to die?

No!

Pai Mei
[laughs]

Then you must be stupid … so stupid! Rise, and let me look at your ridiculous face. Rise. So, my pathetic friend … is there anything that you can do well? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Oh yes, you speak Japanese. [yells] I despise the goddamn Japs!

[last words before she dies, while screaming]

F***ING B**CH!!! [screaming] F***ING B**CH!!! [screaming] I'LL KILL YOU!!! YOU'RE F***ING DEAD!!! [screaming] YOU B**CH!!! YOU B**CH!!! [moaning and screaming] I'LL F***ING KILL YOU, YOU B**CH!!! [hissing and screaming] OH, I'LL GET YOU!!! I'M GONNA... [screaming] WHERE ARE YOU?!?! LEMME F***ING KILLL YOU!!! [continues screaming] WHERE ARE YOU?!?! I'M COMING, YOU F***ING B**CH!!! [screaming] YOU'RE F***ING DEAD!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!! [continues screaming and crying] OH...SH*T!!!!!! [screaming]

[lighting up a cigarette after Budd has collapsed from a black mamba bite]

I'm sorry, Budd. That was rude of me, wasn't it? Budd, I'd like you to meet my friend, the black mamba. Black mamba, this is Budd. You know, before I picked that little fella up, I looked it up on the internet. Fascinating creature, the black mamba. Listen to this. [reads from a notepad] "In Africa, the saying goes, 'In the bush an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba' — and this is true in Africa since the dawn of time — 'is death sure. Hence its handle: Death Incarnate.'" Pretty cool, huh? "Its neurotoxic venom is one of nature's most effective poisons, acting on the nervous system, causing paralysis. The venom of a black mamba can kill a human in four hours if, say, bitten on the ankle or the thumb. However, a bite to the face or torso can bring death from paralysis within 20 minutes." Now, you should listen to this, 'cause this concerns you. "The amount of venom that can be delivered from a single bite can be gargantuan." You know, I've always liked that word "gargantuan," and I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence. "If not treated quickly with anti-venom, 10 to 15 milligrams can be fatal to human beings. However, the black mamba can deliver as much as 100 to 400 milligrams of venom from a single bite." [puts out her cigarette and addresses Budd] Now in these last agonizing minutes of life you have left, let me answer the question you asked earlier more thoroughly. Right at this moment, the biggest "R" I feel is Regret. Regret that maybe the greatest warrior I have ever known met her end at the hands of a bushwhackin', scrub, alky piece of shit like you. That woman deserved better.