“Welcome to Women Now, where women are trusted friends. Please put...” – Receptionist, Juno ... Movie Quotes Database

Receptionist

Welcome to Women Now, where women are trusted friends. Please put your hands where I can see them and surrender any bombs.

Juno

Hey, I'm here for the big show?

Receptionist

Your name, please.

Juno

Juno MacGuff.

Juno

[The receptionist gives her a look] [Voiceover: She thinks I'm using a fake name like Gene Simmons or Mother Teresa]

Receptionist

I need you to fill these out, both sides. And don't skip the hairy details. We need to know about every score and every sore. Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry.

Juno

No, thank you. I'm off sex.

Receptionist

My boyfriend uses them every time we have intercourse. They make his junk smell like pie.

Juno

... [awkwardly walks away]

In this scene

Juno MacGuff Elliot Page More Juno quotes →

More from Juno

Mac Tell me straight, Bren; do you think is this my fault? Bren I think kids get bored and they have intercourse. And I think Junebug was a dummy about it, Mac. Mac I am not ready to be a Pop Pop. Bren You're not gonna be a Pop Pop. Somebody else is going to find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation. Juno We don't even have a dog! Bren No, because you're allergic to their saliva. I have sacrificed a lot for you, Juno. But in a couple years, when you move out, I'm going to get Weimaraners. Juno WHOA, DREAM BIG! Bren Oh, go fly a kite! Juno MacGuff Silencio, old man. Look, I drank my weight in Sunny D and I gotta go pronto.