Kate quotes from John Tucker Must Die (2006)

Kate

I don't get it. I mean, these girls all seem so confident and cool. How do they not know that John's cheating on all of them?

He's a total operator. He goes out with girls from different cliques so that they never actually talk to each other. [chuckles] And then he tells them that his father won't let him date during basketball season so they'll have to keep it a secret.

Kate

How'd you learn all this stuff?

I don't know, just a guess. [runs away crying]

Heather

So I talked to John. He was sweet. He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because we share something special. Something that we don't have to label because...

Beth

Because it's our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are?

Carrie

And it hurts me to question it, because...

... YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME?

Heather

Damn! He said the same thing to all of us!

Beth

Figures. He makes up with us and he hooks up with us...

Carrie

You guys hooked up?

Beth

John and I share something special.

Carrie

Oh what, that he's been in both your pants?

Beth

We share a vegan/nonviolent outlook on life.

Heather

Hippie slut.

Beth

Oh nice, Heather. It's not like everyone doesn't know that little Miss Cheerleader brings it on.

Carrie

What, you too?

Heather

John and I belong together. He is the team captain and I am the head cheerleader.

Beth

Oh, I'm sorry, what kind of cheerleader?

Carrie

Oh, like he'd take either of you two seriously?

Beth

Do not lump me with her!

Heather

Oh so what, you're now better than me?

Kate

Shut up.

Heather, Beth

What?

Kate

Sorry.

Heather

You got something to say?

Kate

No, it's none of my business. [pause] Okay, let me guess. Does he always use pet names like "Baby" and "Sweetheart?" Yeah, it's not out of affection, it's so he won't mix up your names. And he's all about an unspoken bond or something special, but never about a relationship. And the whole arrangement was your idea, so you feel guilty that he cheated.

Heather

Oh my God, you're dating John too?

Kate

No, I knew a guy like him... Skip.

Heather

I want to bring down you know who.

Beth

Normally, I'm opposed to the slaughter of animals, but in John Tucker's case, I'll make an exception.

Kate

I don't even know him.

Beth

So, you don't even know anyone. You're like the Swiss, you're neutered.

Carrie

Um, it's neutral. Kate, if the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other. You brought us here. You showed us that we have something in common.

Heather

Exactly. We all want to kill John Tucker.

Kate

Wow. Okay.

Kate

DAMMIT!

Carrie

It's not that hard, uhm... when he speaks to you count to three in your head before you answer him.

Heather

Don't show any interest. Don't even look at him too much.

Carrie

Yeah yeah. You got it?

Carrie

I said you got it?

Kate

I was counting to three!

Beth

Not that slowly! We don't what him to think you're ****!

Kate

Oh, well before I say yes, how exactly did he get burned?

Scott

Uh, well, that is open to interpretation... because he will say that it is my fault, but I clearly said..."Dear God, man, you're on fire. Run for your life."

Kate

A clear warning.

Scott

Yeah.

Kate

Oh. You're the other Tucker?

Scott

What is that? Is that like "the loser Tucker"?

Kate

Oh, no, no. That's not what I meant. I just... you just don't look...

Scott

Hot, buff, or capable of inciting an all-girl smackdown? No, you're right. Naw, it's-it's cool. I'll let you in on a secret, though. My mom, says I'm special on the inside.

Kate

Good for you.

Scott

Yeah.