So I talked to John. He was sweet. He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because we share something special. Something that we don't have to label because...
Carrie And it hurts me to question it, because...
... YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME?
Damn! He said the same thing to all of us!
Figures. He makes up with us and he hooks up with us...
Carrie You guys hooked up?
John and I share something special.
Carrie Oh what, that he's been in both your pants?
We share a vegan/nonviolent outlook on life.
Oh nice, Heather. It's not like everyone doesn't know that little Miss Cheerleader brings it on.
Carrie What, you too?
John and I belong together. He is the team captain and I am the head cheerleader.
Oh, I'm sorry, what kind of cheerleader?
Carrie Oh, like he'd take either of you two seriously?
Do not lump me with her!
Oh so what, you're now better than me?
Shut up.
Sorry.
You got something to say?
No, it's none of my business. [pause] Okay, let me guess. Does he always use pet names like "Baby" and "Sweetheart?" Yeah, it's not out of affection, it's so he won't mix up your names. And he's all about an unspoken bond or something special, but never about a relationship. And the whole arrangement was your idea, so you feel guilty that he cheated.
Oh my God, you're dating John too?
No, I knew a guy like him... Skip.
