Patricia Graynamore quotes from Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

Patricia Graynamore

I've always kept clear of my father's stuff ever since I got out on my own. And now he's pulling me back in. He knew I wanted this boat and he used it and he got me working for him, which I swore I would never do. I feel ashamed because I had a price. He named it and now I know that about myself. And I could treat you like I did back out on the dock, but that would be me kicking myself for selling out, which isn't fair to you. Doesn't make me feel any better. I don't know what your situation is but I wanted you to know what mine is not just to explain some rude behavior, but because we're on a little boat for a while and... I'm soul sick. And you're going to see that.

Patricia Graynamore

You mean you were diagnosed with something called a brain cloud and didn't ask for a second opinion?

Patricia Graynamore

It's always gonna be something with you, isn't it Joe?

Patricia Graynamore

Marry me...Marry me and then jump in the volcano. What is the problem? You're afraid of the commitment? You're gonna have to love and honor me for about 30 seconds. You can't handle that?

Patricia

That outfit's wearing you, Felix.

Joe

Why are you calling me Felix? My name is Joe.

Patricia

I am calling you Felix because I do what I want.

Angelica

You're in a rotten mood.

Patricia

It's the sunshine. Gets me down.

Joe

I've done a lot of soul searching lately. I've been asking myself some tough questions. You know what I've found out?

Patricia

What?

Joe

I have no interest in myself. I think about myself, I get bored out of my mind.

Joe

I have less than six months to live. The Waponis believe they need a human sacrifice or their island is going to sink into the ocean. They have this mineral your father wants so he hired me to leap into their volcano.

Patricia

What?

Joe

You're not going to make me say that again, are you?

Patricia

Wait, stop right there! I love you! I've fallen in love with you. I've never loved anybody. I don't know how it happened. I never even slept with you or anything. And now you're gonna kill yourself.

Joe

Can you give us a minute?

Joe

You love me?

Patricia

Yes, I love you. I can feel my heart...I feel like I'm going crazy. You can't just die and leave me alone on this stinking earth without you.

Joe

I've gotta do it.

Patricia

Why? Why? The Chief doesn't even want you to do it. Do you, Chief?

Joe

'Cause I've wasted my entire life and I'm gonna die. Now I have a chance to die like a man, and I'm gonna take it. I've gotta take it.

Patricia

I love you!

Joe

I love you, too! I've never been in love with anybody before, either. It's great. I'm glad. But the timing stinks. [kisses her on the cheek] I've gotta go.

Joe

Wait, I don't want to get married!

Patricia

What is the problem? You afraid of the commitment? You're going to have to love and honor me for about 30 seconds. You can't handle that?

Joe

All right. Marry us.

Waponi Chief

Do you want to marry him?

Patricia

Yes.

Waponi Chief

Do you want to marry her?

Joe Banks

Yes.

Waponi Chief

You're married.

Patricia

Nobody knows anything, Joe. We'll take this leap, and we'll see. We'll jump, and we'll see. That's life, right?

Joe

I saw the moon when we were out there in the ocean, shining down on everything. I've been miserable so long, years of my life watsed, afraid. It's been a long time coming here to meet you - a long time, on a crooked road. Did I ever tell you that the first time I saw you it felt like I'd met you before?

Patricia

You're not going anywhere without me.
[they kiss]

Joe

Why aren't you dead?

Patricia

Why aren't you dead?

Patricia

Boy, we really lucked out.

Joe

Yeah...but we're in the middle of nowhere. We're gonna drown.

Patricia

No we're not. I don't know how, but we're gonna be all right.

Patricia

See?

Joe

How did you do that?

Patricia

I wonder where we'll end up?

Joe

Away from the things of man, my love. Away from the things of man.

Patricia

Isn't this romantic? Who gets a honeymoon like this?

Joe

Yeah, but...

Patricia

What's the matter?

Joe

I still have a problem.

Patricia

What?

Joe

I have a brain cloud.

Patricia

A brain cloud... what is a brain cloud?

Joe

It's - well, maybe I should get a second opinion.

Patricia

You didn't get a second opinion on something called a brain cloud? I mean what are you, a hypochondriac?

Joe

I was. Oh not now.

Patricia

I don't think anything is wrong with you.

Joe

Dr. Ellison said-

Patricia

So some quack told you... Dr. Ellison?

Joe

Yeah.

Patricia

That's my father's doctor.

Joe

He is?

Patricia

Dr. Ellison doesn't have any other patients. My father owns Dr. Ellison.

Joe

Why would he...?

Patricia

He set you up.

Joe

Who?

Patricia

My father.

Joe

You mean, he set me up?

Patricia

Yeah.

Joe

No.

Patricia

Yeah.

Joe

I don't have a brain cloud?

Patricia

I mean, couldn't they think of anything better than a "brain cloud"?

Joe

My whole life I've been a victim. A dupe. A pawn. [coughs] My throat is closing up.

Patricia

No, Joe. Your whole life is ahead of you.

Joe

That's true.

Patricia

That's good news!

Joe

I suppose so.

Patricia

It's great!

Joe

Yeah, that's good. I', relieved. That's great. I'm saved! [pause] But...

Patricia

What is it now?

Joe

We're on a raft, no land in sight. I don't know.

Patricia

It'll always be something with you, won't it?

Joe

Yeah. [pause] I'll tell you one thing: wherever we go, whatever we do, we're taking this luggage with us.

Patricia

Deal.