N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


Jarhead quotes

12 total quotes

Anthony Swofford
PFC Dave Fowler
Staff Sgt. Sykes

View Quote Cpl Alan Troy: [wearing a gas mask, mimicking Darth Vader.] Luke.
[Swofford looks up at Troy]
Cpl Alan Troy: Come over to the dark side, Luke.
View Quote Desk Clerk: Swofford. What kind of ****ing name is that?
Swofford: It's English. My great-grandfather came over here in the 19th century.
Desk Clerk: Whatever. I'm putting you in Golf Company. It's full of ****s and ****-ups. Maybe you can elevate the sons-of-bitches a little. [looks up] Or maybe not. Next!
View Quote [first lines]
Swofford: [voice-over] A story. A man fires a rifle for many years. And he goes to war. And afterward, he turns the rifle in at the Armory, and he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands-- love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper-- his hands remember the rifle.
Drill Instructor Fitch: You are no longer black, or brown, or yellow, or red! You are now Green! You are Light Green or Dark Green! Do you understand?!
Recruits: [loudly] SIR, YES, SIR!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Swofford.
Swofford: Sir, yes, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: You the maggot whose father served in Vietnam?
Swofford: Sir, yes, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Outstanding! Did he have the balls to die there?
Swofford: Sir, no, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Too ****ing bad! Did he ever talk about it?
Swofford: Sir, only once, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Good! Then he wasn't lying! [angrily] Are you eyeballing me with those baby blues? ARE YOU?!
Swofford: Sir, no, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Are you in love with me, Swofford?
Swofford: Sir, no, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Oh, you don't think I look good in my uniform, Swofford?
Swofford: Sir, the Drill Sergeant looks fabulous in his uniform, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Oh, so you're gay then, and you love me, huh?
Swofford: Sir, I'm not gay, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Do you have a girlfriend, Swofford?
Swofford: Sir, yes, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Guess again, mother****er! Jody's banging her right now. Get on your face and give me 25 for every time she gets ****ed this month. Down on your face!
Swofford: [voice-over while doing 25 push-ups] It was shortly after meeting Drill Instructor Fitch that I realized that joining the Marine Corps might have been a bad decision.
Drill Instructor Fitch: [angrily] What in the **** is this?
[scene cuts out to later in Swofford's training; he and Fitch are standing in front of a chalkboard with a diagram labeled "FOOTLOCKER CONTENTS", drawn by Swofford.]
Swofford: Sir, it's the recruit's drawing of a footlocker, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Jesus, Joseph, and doggy-style Mary! That is a pile of dogshit!
Swofford: Sir, the recruit's never been good at drawing, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: Why the **** are you my scribe, then?! Isn't my scribe supposed to know how to draw?!
Swofford: Sir, the recruit doesn't know; the recruit thought the scribe was supposed to write, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: [strangles Swofford, and Swofford drops to his knees] 'Course the recruit doesn't know! The recruit doesn't know because I haven't told him! [slapping Swofford's head repeatedly] All right, ****-for-brains, show me exactly...
Swofford: Sir--
Drill Instructor Fitch: ...where your Skivvies and running shoes go!
Swofford: Sir, the recruit can't think while the Drill Instructor is hitting him on his head, sir!
Drill Instructor Fitch: You can't think while I'm giving you a few love taps?! How the **** are you going to fire your rifle when grenades are going off in your face?! What the **** are you even doing here?!
Swofford: [bellowing in rage] SIR, I GOT LOST ON THE WAY TO COLLEGE, SIR!
[Drill Instructor Fitch furiously grabs Swofford's head and bangs it on the chalkboard. He is knocked unconscious as a result to this impact.]
Drill Instructor Fitch: Insolent child--for a joke like you, you ain't nothing but a fraud. [to the other recruits] Take him away and dump him back into school--he's going to start his life all over again. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Two of the recruits: Sir, yes, sir.
[Two of the recruits advance on Swofford, grab him by the arms, and show him out the door as the movie freeze-frames, and Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin plays.]
Swofford: So now, my hands... were dick-skinners. A flashlight was a moon-beam. A pen was an ink stick. My mouth was a **** receptacle. A bed was a rack. A wall was a bulkhead. A shirt was a blouse. A tie was still a tie, and a belt a belt. But many other things would never be the same.
View Quote (to a reporter who heard Swofford say 'field ****') He said 'field fun!'
View Quote (yelling enthusiastically) FIELD ****!!!
View Quote Four days, four hours, one minute. That was my war.
View Quote ****er's ****ed now.
View Quote I could be working with my brother right now. He's got a dry-wall business in Compton. Does the inside of office buildings — you know, the metal studs. I could be his partner. Said he'd give me that brand new Dodge Ram Charger — you know, the 318 Magnum? The beast? All indoor work, too, lots of AC. I could sleep with my wife every night, **** her, maybe; take my kids to school every morning. And I'd run his crews, too, probably increase productivity 40 to 50%. Make $100K a year. Do you know why I don't? Because I love this job. I thank God for every ****ing day he gives me in the Corps. Oorah.
View Quote Sir, I got lost on the way to college, sir!
View Quote Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the baddest mother****er in the goddamn valley.
View Quote You are a Marine. There is no such thing as speech that is free. You must pay for everything that you say.
View Quote You laugh, you die. Scratch your nose, you die. You shift your weight to take a piss, you will die. You want to shit, you better shit in your pants.