Captain Jack
ARRR.
I should have worn a belt. [Viking, Eskimo, Pegleg, and Duckman all pop out from their hiding places] Holy shipwrecked!
Centipede
Richard Dreyfuss · 22 quotes
James Henry Trotter
Paul Terry · 20 quotes
Grasshopper
Simon Callow · 16 quotes
Aunt Spiker
Joanna Lumley · 11 quotes
Aunt Sponge
Miriam Margolyes · 9 quotes
Earthworm
David Thewlis · 9 quotes
Miss Spider
Susan Sarandon · 6 quotes
Mrs. Ladybug
Jane Leeves · 5 quotes
Cop
Mike Starr · 4 quotes
Glowworm
Miriam Margolyes · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Centipede & Grasshopper (9), Centipede & Earthworm (7), Grasshopper & Earthworm (7)
James and the Giant Peach quotes
Page 1 of 4Miss Spider, throw me a string.
[Miss Spider pulls a length of string from her back and tosses it James, who lassoes Spiker and Sponge with it]
Okay, pull them up!
[The bugs pull on the string, hoisting the screaming Spiker and Sponge off the ground, dangling them from the crane hook]
Spin them around!
YOU LITTLE...
[Miss Spider throws more around Spiker and Sponge's legs as they spin and their wigs fly off revealing their short grey hair]
Tighter! Tighter!
[The bugs spin Spiker and Sponge around even faster, completely wrapping them up in string] [watching everything]
Well, I'll be... The kid was tellin' the truth. [to the crane operator] Get those two creep get outta here!
[the crane operator moves the crane away, taking Spiker and Sponge with it]
Sorry. Thought you were the Spider.
Excuse, I thought you were the Centipede.
Hey Glowworm, how about some lights.
I can't hear you, dear. I will have to turn my light on.
A what?
A peach! There, on that branch.
Why that old tree's never had so much of an old blossom on it, let alone a... Well, I'll be blowed. There really is a peach there. A nice big one, too.
How can we get it?
Aunt Spiker and Aunt Sponge
[In unison]
The boy!
Now you be a good little boy and climb up there and get that peach for your dear aunties.
Can we eat it?
Of course, we can! We'll share it. Me and your Aunt Spiker. Start climbing.
Wait!
What? What? What?
It-It's growing!
No, the peach, you idiot! Look!
But I won't get hurt.
Climb down!
What a peach. What a peach!
Look, Spiker, it's still growing!
I'm not blind, you dolt. I can see for myself. [she and Sponge gasp] Look at it go! It's a miracle.
[The peach continues to grow and becomes the size of a house]
It's coming down! Stand back!
Oh my heavens! My...
Hello... little... angel!
So kind of you to look after our little lost lamb.
Who are you?
We are the boy's legal guardians.
We've missed him so much.
So we'll be taking him home now.
And the peach, of course. We're taking that as well.
Well, wait a minute. Back up. You mean to tell me that this thing is a peach?
It's not a peach. It's our peach.
Our peach.
Show him, Spongy.
Yes. [shows the cop a picture of her and Spiker with the giant peach]
Looks like it's their peach all right.
Yes! Yes. And we're very proud of it.
We're going to be in the record book.
It's not their peach. The old man gave the green things to me. That's what made it grow.
[Places her hand on Sponge's shoulder, holding Sponge back]
Patience, sister. Remember his... condition.
His condition?
He's a chronic liar.
Sad, really. He needs his treatment.
Well, that's why we're here; to bring him home. So, you come here with us. Hey, Lovey!
[Sponge and Spiker maliciously try to get to James but he climbs up to the truck to get away.]
I'm not the one who's lying. They are!
As you can see, Officer, it is urgent that you release him to us immediately.
Old Man
LET THE BOY SPEAK!
[The crowd utters in agreement.]
Alright, alright, alright! Let's get to the bottom of this! This thing is a peach. Now, all right. I'll buy that. Now, does someone wanna tell me how it got here?
We attached it to a hundred seagulls.
Seagulls? [laughs with the crowd]
That's what happened! Me and Miss Spider and the Centipede and the Old Green Grasshopper.
This is all something he dreamed up.
Well, maybe it started that way, as a dream, but didn't everything? Those buildings, these lights, this whole city! Somebody had to dream about it first, and maybe that's what I did. I dreamed about coming here, but then I did it!
The poor boy needs his medicine. Yes. So, we'll just take him...
And the peach.
Back to our cozy little house on the hill. Come along. You're going home with us.
[Aunt Spiker tilts her head back in a disturbing way and her smile melts into a scowl] [through clenched teeth]
What did you say?
I said: [enunciating] NO... I'M... NOT!! I hate that house, and that cold room, and how I was always hungry.
All right! That's enough!
And how you beat me!
Woman They beat him up?!
Boy
They beat him?!
And told me I was nothing!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
NO! Not this time! I flew the peach across the ocean. I landed on top of the tallest building in the world. [turns to Spiker and Sponge] I MADE IT! I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S NOTHING, YOU ARE! AND I'M NEVER GOING BACK WITH YOU! NOT ME AND NOT THE PEACH!!!!
[Sponge and Spiker grab fire axes and take swings at James. The officer repeatedly blows his whistle to keep the crowd under control]
James, up here!
Hello, we are here! [A green light shines down from above.]
Hey, buddy!
What are they?
Young James!
Hey, Jimmy!
Bugs!
Need a little help down there?
Giant bugs! [she and Spiker scream]
Hey, you old biddies! [blows raspberry]
Help! Help us! [but the crowd ignores them as they are too busy watching the sudden appearance of James' bug friends]
Whoo-ee! Here we are, dear!
Hello, James!
I told you they were real!
Hello, old boy!
Requesting clearance to land!
Everyone, these are my friends; the ones I've been telling you about. Mr. Centipede!
Hi! [laughs]
Old Green Grasshopper!
My pleasure.
Earthworm! Mrs. Ladybug!
Charmed.
Miss Spider! And the Glowworm!
God bless the colonies! [Miss Spider turns her around] Oh.
Kid 1
Could we eat some of your peach?
It won't keep forever.
Go ahead.
Kid 2
[The crowd cheers and throws down tons of confetti. All of the children in New York gather and start gobbling down the giant peach like no tomorrow.]
Hey, what was your name?
It's James!
That music!
Oh, Sir James! Did I disturb you? So sorry. [stammering as he puts his violin away] I'll put this away.
No, no. I like it. I used to hear it at my aunt's house before I went to sleep. That was you, wasn't it? Or do all grasshoppers play music?
All grasshoppers... try. I'm sure you've heard this. [rubs his legs together, making a chirping sound]
Mm-hmm.
Ghastly, isn't it? Cricket stuff. Music should be the voice of the soul.
What does that mean?
It means that when I'm happy, my music sounds like this. [plays a cheerful, upbeat tune on his violin] And when I'm sad, it's like this. [plays a slow, mournful tune]
When I was sad, I used to climb in bed with my mom and dad. But that was a long time ago.
I'm sure they'd be very proud of you, James. I know we are.
The old man, the one who gave me the green things - he said marvelous things will happen.
Did he say, "Marvelous pigs in satin"?
No, dear lady. [through a megaphone] "Marvelous things will happen!" [to James] Poor Glowworm. She's a little deaf.
I, however, have exquisite hearing.
Yeah? Well listen to this: [does a fanfare with his armpits, then shouts through the megaphone] LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!
You mean leave the hill? I can't. The rhino will get me.
Rhino? [hides in a glove]
We're going to New York City!
New York? They love me there!
Wonderful! They've got a whole park full of leaves for you, Mrs. Ladybug.
Central Park!
Nightclubs!
Not to mention Yankee Stadium!
What about me?
Why, they've got miles and miles of underground tunnels!
The subway!
My father said it's the place where dreams come true!
I've sailed all the five seas! From the sun-drenched reefs of Bora Bora to the icy shores of Tripoli! Commodore Centipede, they used to call me!
Seven.
Huh?
There are seven seas. And Tripoli is in the subtropics, "Commodore".
Trim the sails!
There are no sails.
Stoke the engines!
There are no engines.
I can't work with this miserable crew!
Want food... food...
[He eats his cigar like a sausage.]
You sure you know where we're going? I don't see how you can navigate without a compass.
[As Grasshopper speaks, Centipede imagines him as a bottle of wine with cheese]
It's very hot up here. I'm roasted.
[Centipede imagines Earthworm as a hot dog. He looks at one of the seagulls, and imagines it as a roast chicken. He pulls it down, and prepares to take a bite] [hitting Centipede with her purse]
Unhand that bird!
[The seagull bites Centipede in the nose and flies off] [screams in pain]
But I'm dying of hunger!
Oh, perhaps I have a bit of soda bread in here somewhere... [rummages in her bag and takes out some bread]
Food?
It's not much, but it's--
Not so fast! [grabs the bread and starts eating] I need this food! I have a much higher metabolism!
BITE ME! [starts fighting him]
I'm a vegetarian.
I eat dirt.
No one will be eating you, James.
Naw, she'll just puncture your head and suck out the brains!
That I am saving for you.
Whoa! Pretty fast, long legs. Oh-oo-oo!
This is an outrage! You are a disgrace to your phylum, class, order, genus and species!
Say it in English!
You, sir, are an ass!
Where are we? What's going on?
Mr. Grasshoppper
I found this dime-store timmy asleep at the helm! Now we're lost!
We are not lost!
Then where are we?
Somewhere north! Or possibly very, very far south.
What's your latitude? What's your longitude?
Hey, hey, hey! That's personal, bub!
Spray us? They'll see the Yank [the Centipede] up there and come after us with a shovel! It happened to my brother.
How awful.
Split him right down the middle. Now I have two half-brothers.
Shh. They'll hear us!
Narrator
They ate that peach all the way down to the pit. And set it up in Central Park as a permanent home. And James Henry Trotter, who was once the saddest and loneliest little boy you could find, now had a loving new family, and all the friends in the world.
James, dinner is ready.
Kid
Hi, Miss Spider.
All right. Nearly finished. And -- And then -- And then the seagulls...
Narrator
And since James' visitors begged him again and again to hear the story of his adventure with the giant peach, he wished for a way to share it with everyone. [the narrator reveals his true self as the old man with the crocodile tongues]
Old Man
And that is exactly what you had just seen. [catches a crocodile tongue and winks at the audience as the movie ends]