Is It College Yet? 2002 quotes

Daria! Hi! How was the last day of school? Do you want to lie down?

I have an announcement to make.

Oh, God, Daria! It'll be all right, I promise!

I have broken up with my boyfriend. Yes, it hurts, but it was my idea, and despite the pain I feel, I remain convinced it is for the best. I am looking forward to summer, and, to my amazement, excited about college next year. Now I shall go to my room without taking questions. Ignore any muffled screams you may hear, especially if they're Quinn's. [goes upstairs]

She and Tom broke up? Just like that? No clues, no warning signs? I'd better go talk to her! This could drive her back to military school! What should I say? Damn it, Helen! Where's our copy of Mr. Spock?

Jake, your concern is very sweet, but I think she's going to be okay.

What about you? Still thinking about- [snooty accent] -Bromwell?

They don't really talk like that there. I hope. Anyway, I'm applying because it's an outstanding university, not because the students engage in the rectal transport of steel rods.

The Equestrian Club must be in constant pain.

He said he looked up to you?

Isn't that weird? Flattering, but weird.

Well, I kind of take what you say seriously. That's why, after your constant haranguing and brow-beating, I went ahead and sent my portfolio to BFAC... and got in.

Jane Lane! What did you say?

You. Me. College. Same town. Be ready to have your ass dragged to more parties.

I knew you could do it. I knew it! [Jane takes a bow] Why the hell didn't you tell me?

I just found out today. Besides, you know what a drama queen I am. So, what do you say? Make a pledge right now to go up there and get separate boyfriends? [pause] Thanks for talking me into applying.

Thanks for helping me get through high school.

Me at BFAC, you at Raft. You think it's true that things happen for a reason?

Naah!

Okay, I want to know whose cup this is. Quinn?

Umm, it's not mine.

We don't know whose it is.

Then explain to me why this smudge here matches your lipstick.

That could be anybody's lipstick!

Not really.

For instance, Quinn asked me if she could try my lipstick... not that I'm saying it's hers, of course...

Oh, Lindy...

Come on, Lindy.

Please, Michael, I've never done anything like this before, I swear. I don't even like to drink. It's just I have this migraine...

I'm gonna have to let you go.

Andrea, my dark-eyed mistress of sweet, sweet pain. Are you, like me, finding this party a bit too festive? Let us depart for a darker place where we can explore the melancholia that always accompanies true, unbridled passion.

You're hitting on me?

Um-

Okay.

Really? [normal voice] I mean, say no more, my raven-haired ravisher. [offers Andrea his arm, which she takes as they walk away]

So, dazzling academic achievement, eh? What a sellout.

I know. And then I had the perfect opportunity to beat Ms. Li senseless with my trophy, and what do I do? Give a heart-warming speech.

You're getting soft around the edges, Morgendorffer.

Maybe, or maybe you've got glaucoma.

To college. I can't wait. What do you think we'll find when we get there?

Hmm. That the students are shockingly ignorant, the professors self-centered and corrupt, and the entire system geared solely to the pursuit of funding?:

Hmm, yes. You know that thing I said about you getting soft?

Yeah?

I take it back. [she and Daria both toast their cups]

Both the colleges I applied to rejected me. I knew I shouldn't have taken the math portion of my SATs!

I love hospital room movies. And I hate seeing them with guys. They always get mad because nothing blows up.

I suppose pulling out a can of mace right now would be considered bad form.

Um, thank you. I'm not much for public speaking. Or much for speaking. Or, come to think of it, much for the public. And I'm not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I had to do it all over again, I'd have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from eighth grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that if you're lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares it doesn't have to suck quite as much. Otherwise my advice is; Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless experience proves you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor *is* naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza. Thank you.

What are you saying? That I got into Raft because they *didn't* meet me? Screw you!