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Wagstaff: Are you Miss Bailey? Come, come! One of us is Miss Bailey, and I'm not!
Connie: I'm Miss Bailey, and who are you?
Wagstaff: [He pulls out an invisible calling card] I'm Professor Wagstaff. Who are you?
Connie: Miss Bailey!
Wagstaff: Ah, then you are Miss Bailey! Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you? Listen, Madam, you've got to give my son up.
Connie: Give him up?
Wagstaff: You can't take him from me! He's all I've got in the world, except a picture of George Washington crossing the Delaware.
Connie: But, Professor, I...
Wagstaff: Whatever you say is a lie! He's only a shell of his former self which nobody can deny. Whoopee! I tell you, you're ruining that boy, you're ruining him. [sitting in her lap] Did my son tell you you have beautiful eyes?
Connie: Why, yes.
Wagstaff: Told me that, too! Tells that to everyone he meets! Oh, I love sitting on your lap. I could sit here all day if you didn't stand up.


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