And what did you say?

I asked her to hold. Can I call you back?

I can hold while you speak to her.

Really?

Find out how she is.

Okay. (switches call) My brother wants to know how you are.

Can you tell him I'm good and that I'm just taking Charlie for a walk in the village. Um, what's he been up to? Did he say?

I'm not sure. Do you want me to ask him?

Uh, sure.

Okay. Hold please. (switches back) I can't believe that you have had sex with the woman staying in my house!

He told you that?!

Oh my God! I thought I was talking to Graham! Can you just hold, please? I'm terribly sorry. (switches again) I can't believe you had sex with Amanda! The one thing she asked me was, 'Are there any men in your town?', and I assured her that there were not. And then you meet her and immediately get into her knickers!

Still me!

Bollocks! I must have lost him. Amanda, I am so sorry.