John Hey, pardon me for asking, but who's the little old man?
John That little old man.
Oh, that one, that's my grandfather.
That's not your grandfather.
But I've seen your grandfather. He lives in your house.
Oh, that's my other grandfather, but he's my grandfather as well.
John How do you reckon that one out?
Well, everyone's entitled to two, aren't they, and he's my other one.
John We know that. But what's he doing here?
Well, my mother thought the trip would do him good.
He's nursing a broken heart.
John [cheerfully]
'Ello, grandfather!
PS Paul's Grandfather
Hello.
John He can talk, then, can he?
Of course, he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?
Well if he's your grandfather, who knows? [chuckles awkwardly]
John And we're looking after him, are we?
PS Paul's Grandfather
I'll look after meself.
Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.
John He's got you worried, then?
Him? He's a villain. A real mixer. And he'll cost you a fortune in Breach of Promise cases.
John Gerron.
Are you listening to me, Lennon?
John [Playing around with a bottle of Coke]
You're a swine. Ain't he George?
Thanks. [Sees Paul's grandfather] Hey!
B Beatles
WHO'S THAT LITTLE OLD MAN?
John Yeah, you're a window rattler, son.
That's just your opinion. Do I snore, Paul?
With a trombone hooter like yours, it would be unnatural if you didn't.
Grandfather Now, Paulie... don't mock the afflicted.
Ah, come off it, it's only a joke.
Grandfather Aye, it may be a joke to you, but it's his nose. He can't help having a hideous great hooter. And the poor little head, trembling under the weight of it.
[Ringo goes to the closet to put his jacket away, opens the door, then promptly closes it and walks back to the others.]
Hey, any of you put a man in the cupboard?
John Don't be soft.
[George goes to the closet, opens it, seeing the man inside, closes the door and comes back.]
He's right, you know.
John There ya go.
T.V. Director [Approaches the Beatles]
Now, look. If you think I'm unsuitable, let's have it out in the open. I can't stand these backstage politics.
John Aren't you turning to black-and-white the situation somewhat?
T.V. Director Well, quite honestly, I wasn't expecting a musical arranger to question my ability, picture-wise.
John [To the others]
I could listen to him for hours.
Millie [John walks towards some stairs, a woman, Millie, notices him]
Hello.
John Hello.
Millie Oh, no, wait. You are-
John I'm not.
Millie Yes, you are, I know you are.
John I'm not, no.
Millie You look just like him.
John Do I? You're the first one that's said that, ever.
Millie Yes, you do, look. [Shines an overhead light to a mirror on the wall for John to look at]
John [After looking in the mirror]
Nah, my eyes are lighter. See, me nose...
Millie No, I think your nose is very...
John Is it?
Millie Well, I would have said so.
John You know him better, though.
Millie I do not. He's only a casual aquaintance.
John That's what you say.
Millie What have you heard.
John [Whispers in her ear]
It's all over the place.
Millie Is it? Is it really?
John Mmmhmm. But I wouldn´t have it. I stuck up for you.
Millie I knew I could rely on you.
John Thanks.
Millie [Looks at John with her glasses, then nods]
You don't look like him at all.
John [John shyly nods, puts his hat on and walks up the stairs, briefly looking back]
She looks more like him than I do.
[Ringo has gone missing.]
Split up and look for him.
John Right.
John [Paul goes one way, John and George follow him. Paul turns around, sees them right behind him.]
We've become a limited company.
