Other quotes
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Nasty Nate: So the next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some ****tail...FRUIT!
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Sir-Smokes-Alot: I want to talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden!
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Sir-Smokes-Alot: I'm impotent, man! Get away from me, bitch!
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Kenny: Ya hear that? I'm somebody's bitch!
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Brian: Get some...sour cream and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerkey, some peanut butter. Get some Hagen-Dagz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and we'll make some s'mores man. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, we need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns.
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Brian: You smoke?
Mary Jane: No my grandmother died from lung cancer.
Brian: That's all the more reason to toke up man! It'll ease the pain!
Mary Jane: No my grandmother died from lung cancer.
Brian: That's all the more reason to toke up man! It'll ease the pain!
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[Thurgood explains to the detective that they will seem less suspicious in an undercover sting if they are high.]
Brian: I just wanna say that that was a great idea, Thurgood. I mean how do you come up with...
[cut off]
Scarface: Just smoke it, yo.
Brian: I just wanna say that that was a great idea, Thurgood. I mean how do you come up with...
[cut off]
Scarface: Just smoke it, yo.
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Samson: I'm gonna take your little Mexican friend here and I'm gonna kill him.
Scarface: I'm Cuban, b!
Samson: Yes, Cuban b!
Scarface: I'm Cuban, b!
Samson: Yes, Cuban b!
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[Kenny is on his way out to get munch]
Kenny: Hey, if I`m not back in 10 minutes call the police.
Thurgood: If hes not back in 10 minutes, we're calling Dominoes!
Kenny: Hey, if I`m not back in 10 minutes call the police.
Thurgood: If hes not back in 10 minutes, we're calling Dominoes!
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Brian: Lady, you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you five.
Woman: Uh-uh. He autographed it himself...
Brian: Okay, I'll give you four.
Woman: Uh-uh. He autographed it himself...
Brian: Okay, I'll give you four.
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[Brian, Scarface, and Thurgood are sneaking into the refer lab]
Scarface: Man, you didn't say nothing 'bout no door, yo!
Thurgood: Just chill out, man. I smoked weed here all the time. This door's never locked.
[Scarface opens the door, the alarm goes off]
Thurgood: I didn't say the alarm would be on, though.
Scarface: Man, you didn't say nothing 'bout no door, yo!
Thurgood: Just chill out, man. I smoked weed here all the time. This door's never locked.
[Scarface opens the door, the alarm goes off]
Thurgood: I didn't say the alarm would be on, though.
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Scientist: Janitor? Uh, janitor?
[taps Thurgood, who gets frightened]
Thurgood: Ah! Oh..sorry 'bout that. What is it, scientist?
Scientist: I know this isn't your responsibility but, uh, could you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It's on the second floor. [hands Thurgood a note]
Thurgood: Just run this down?
Scientist: Yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P.
Thurgood: Gotcha. Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility but just wipe the rest of this shit up [hands him a mop] I'll be right back.
[taps Thurgood, who gets frightened]
Thurgood: Ah! Oh..sorry 'bout that. What is it, scientist?
Scientist: I know this isn't your responsibility but, uh, could you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It's on the second floor. [hands Thurgood a note]
Thurgood: Just run this down?
Scientist: Yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P.
Thurgood: Gotcha. Hey, I know this isn't your responsibility but just wipe the rest of this shit up [hands him a mop] I'll be right back.
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Thurgood: Yea. Um, So how long's [your dad] been in [jail]?
Mary Jane: Four years next month.
Thurgood: Four years. And what exactly was he selling?
Mary Jane: Marijuana.
Thurgood: FOUR YEARS JUST FOR WEED?! DAMN!
Mary Jane: Just? No, no, no, no. Not just. Marijuana is terrible. It's a gateway drug. I mean, everybody knows that it leads to other stuff.
Thurgood: Yeah, mostly junk food.
Mary Jane: Four years next month.
Thurgood: Four years. And what exactly was he selling?
Mary Jane: Marijuana.
Thurgood: FOUR YEARS JUST FOR WEED?! DAMN!
Mary Jane: Just? No, no, no, no. Not just. Marijuana is terrible. It's a gateway drug. I mean, everybody knows that it leads to other stuff.
Thurgood: Yeah, mostly junk food.
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Kenny: [to police horse] Hey girl, you hungry?
Overweight woman: [walking by] **** you, ****!
Overweight woman: [walking by] **** you, ****!
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Thurgood: I'm here today because I'm addicted..to marijuana.
Rehab patient: You in here 'cuz of marijuana?! Man, this is some BULLSHIT!
Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck d*ck for coke.
Rehab patient: I seen him do it!
Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: Now that's an addiction, man. You ever suck some d*ck for marijuana?
Thurgood: No, I can't say I have.
Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: I didn't think so.
Rehab patient: You in here 'cuz of marijuana?! Man, this is some BULLSHIT!
Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck d*ck for coke.
Rehab patient: I seen him do it!
Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: Now that's an addiction, man. You ever suck some d*ck for marijuana?
Thurgood: No, I can't say I have.
Bob Saget/Cocaine addict: I didn't think so.
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Samson: Delilah, get me "eight fourteen".
Delilah: [to another woman] Eight fourteen.
Thurgood: [whispers to Scarface and Brian] What the ****s "eight fourteen"?
[she pulls out a crossbow]
Thurgood: AH! I'm sorry y'all, I don't want to be the first **** to die from a crossbow.
Delilah: [to another woman] Eight fourteen.
Thurgood: [whispers to Scarface and Brian] What the ****s "eight fourteen"?
[she pulls out a crossbow]
Thurgood: AH! I'm sorry y'all, I don't want to be the first **** to die from a crossbow.