Groot quotes from Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Gamora

We have to stop Ronan.

How?!

I have a plan.

You've got a plan?

Yes.

First of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.

No, I'm not! People say that all the time, it's not that unique of a thing to say.

Secondly, I don't even believe you have a plan.

I have... part of a plan!

Drax

What percentage of a plan do you have?

Gamora

You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere.

Drax

I just saved Quill!

We've already established that you destroying the ship that I'm on is not saving me!

Drax

When did we establish that?

Like, three seconds ago!

Drax

I wasn't listening, I was thinking of something else.

Gamora

Aaugh...

She's right, you don't get an opinion. [To Quill] What percentage?

I dunno. Twelve percent.

"Twelve percent"?! [Breaks into raucous laughter]

That's a fake laugh.

It's real!

Totally fake!

That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life, because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!

Gamora

It's barely a concept.

You're taking their side?!

I am Groot.

So what, "It's better than eleven percent"? What the hell does that have to do with anything?!

Thank you, Groot. Thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue. [Groot starts eating a leaf on his shoulder]

I look around at us... and you know what I see? Losers. [The others give him an off look] I mean, like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Our homes. Our families. Normal lives. And usually life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it's giving us something. It is giving us a chance.

Drax

To do what?

...To give a shit, for once, and not run away. I for one am not going to stand by and watch as Ronan wipes out billions of innocent lives.

Quill... Stopping Ronan... It's impossible. You're asking us to die.

... Yeah. I guess I am.

Gamora

Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded by my enemies. [Stands up] I will be grateful to die among my friends.

Drax

You are an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, see my wife and daughter again.

I am Groot.

Aww, what the hell? I don't got that long a lifespan anyway. [Stands up] Well, now I'm standing. You all happy? We're all standing up now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.

No, Groot! You can't. You'll die. [Starts crying] Why are you doing this?! Why?

We....are....Groot.

Prisoner, drop the device immediately and retreat to your cell, or we will open fire.

I AM GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!

Fire.