Quill quotes from Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Drop it! [Aims his rifle at Quill]

Uh... hey.

Drop it now!

Hey, okay. Cool, man. No problem. [The Sakaaran soldiers start to poke him with their Necroblasters] No problem. At all.

How do you know about this?

I don't even know what that is. I'm just a junker, man. Just checkin' stuff out.

You don't look like a junker; you're wearing Ravager garb.

This is just an outfit, man. [Aside, to a Sakaaran soldier] Ninja Turtle, you better stop poking me!

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!

My name is Peter Quill! Okay? Dude, just chill out!

MOVE!

Why?

Ronan may have questions for you.

Hey, you know what? There's another name you might know me by! ...Star-Lord.

Who?

Star-Lord, man! The legendary outlaw? [Korath simply shrugs] Guys?

MOVE!

Oh, forget this.

Drax

You! Man who has lain with an A'askvarian!

It was just one time, man.

Gamora

And Quill? Your ship is filthy.

Oh, she has no idea. If I had a black light, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.

You got issues, Quill.

Gamora

I'm a warrior, an assassin. I do not dance.

Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.

Gamora

Who put the sticks up their butts? That is cruel.

Oh, no.

Gamora

Stop it!

Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing?!

Drax

This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!

That is true!

Drax

HE HAS NO RESPECT!

That is also true!

HOLD ON, HOLD ON!

Keep callin' me "vermin", tough guy! You just wanna laugh at me, like everyone else!

Rocket, you're drunk. All right? No one's laughing at you.

He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does! [Crying] Well, I didn't ask to get made! I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over, and turned into some... some little monster!

Rocket, no one's calling you a monster.

He called me "vermin"! She [Gamora] called me "rodent"! Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots through your FRICKIN' FACE! [Draws his rifle at Drax]

No, no, no, no! FOUR BILLION UNITS!! Rocket!! Come on, man! Hey, suck it up for one more lousy night and you're rich!

Fine. But I can't promise when all this is over, I'm not gonna kill every last one of you jerks.

See?! [turning to Drax and Gamora] That's exactly why none of you have any friends! Five seconds after you meet somebody, you're already trying to kill them!

Before creation itself, there were six singularities. [he uses a device to unlock and open the orb] Then the universe exploded into existence, and the remnants of these systems were forged into concentrated ingots. Infinity Stones. These stones, it seems, can only be brandished by beings of extraordinary strength. Observe. [he shows them the giant beings that use the Infinity Stones as weapons] These carriers can use the stone to mow down entire civilizations like wheat in a field.

There's a little pee coming out of me right now.

Once, for a moment, a group was able to share the energy amongst themselves, but even they were quickly destroyed by it. [the orb is opened to reveal an Infinity Stone] Beautiful. Beyond compare.

Gamora

How could I think Tivan could contain whatever was within the Orb?

WHAT DO YOU STILL HAVE IT FOR!?!

Well, what were we gonna do? Leave it in there?

I can't believe you had that in your purse!

It's not a purse; it's a knapsack!

Gamora

We have to take this to the Nova Corps. There's a chance they can contain it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We're wanted by the Nova Corps!! Just give it to Ronan!

What, so he can destroy the galaxy?!

What are you? Some saint, all of a sudden? What has the galaxy ever done for you? Why would you wanna to save it?!

Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!

Yondu

When I picked you up as a kid, these boys wanted to eat you! They ain't never tasted Terran before! I saved your life!

Oh, will you shut up about that?! God! Twenty years you've been throwing that in my face! Like it's some great thing, "not eating me"! Normal people don't even THINK about eating someone else! Much less, that person having to be grateful for it!

If you kill me, you're saying goodbye to the biggest score you've ever seen.

Yondu

The Stone? I hope you got a better idea, 'cause ain't no one stealin' from Ronan.

We got a ringer. [Glances at Gamora] She knows everything there is about Ronan. His ships, his army…

Gamora

He's vulnerable.

So what do you think, Yondu? Me and you, taking down scores, side by side, like the old days?

Yondu

Ya always had scrote, son! That's why we kept ya up as a kid!

Attention, idiots! The lunatic on the top of this craft is holding a Hadron Enforcer. It's a weapon of my own design.

Yondu

What the hell?

If you don't hand over our companions now, he's gonna tear your ship a new one. A very big new one.

Yondu

I ain't buyin' it.

I am giving you to the count of five. [Quill and Gamora start to panic] Five, four, three--

No, wait! Hold on! Rocket, it's me! For God's sake! We figured it out! We're fine!

Oh, hey, Quill. What's going on?

Gamora

We have to stop Ronan.

How?!

I have a plan.

You've got a plan?

Yes.

First of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.

No, I'm not! People say that all the time, it's not that unique of a thing to say.

Secondly, I don't even believe you have a plan.

I have... part of a plan!

Drax

What percentage of a plan do you have?

Gamora

You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere.

Drax

I just saved Quill!

We've already established that you destroying the ship that I'm on is not saving me!

Drax

When did we establish that?

Like, three seconds ago!

Drax

I wasn't listening, I was thinking of something else.

Gamora

Aaugh...

She's right, you don't get an opinion. [To Quill] What percentage?

I dunno. Twelve percent.

"Twelve percent"?! [Breaks into raucous laughter]

That's a fake laugh.

It's real!

Totally fake!

That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life, because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!

Gamora

It's barely a concept.

You're taking their side?!

I am Groot.

So what, "It's better than eleven percent"? What the hell does that have to do with anything?!

Thank you, Groot. Thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue. [Groot starts eating a leaf on his shoulder]

I look around at us... and you know what I see? Losers. [The others give him an off look] I mean, like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Our homes. Our families. Normal lives. And usually life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it's giving us something. It is giving us a chance.

Drax

To do what?

...To give a shit, for once, and not run away. I for one am not going to stand by and watch as Ronan wipes out billions of innocent lives.

Quill... Stopping Ronan... It's impossible. You're asking us to die.

... Yeah. I guess I am.

Gamora

Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded by my enemies. [Stands up] I will be grateful to die among my friends.

Drax

You are an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, see my wife and daughter again.

I am Groot.

Aww, what the hell? I don't got that long a lifespan anyway. [Stands up] Well, now I'm standing. You all happy? We're all standing up now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.