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The Great Mouse Detective

The Great Mouse Detective quotes

42 total quotes

Basil of Baker Street
Olivia
Prof. Ratigan
The Queen




View Quote [Both Basil and Dawson are trapped by Ratigan, about to be mousetrapped, shot by a gun and arrow, chopped in half, and then crushed by an anvil, and Ratigan has just left for Buckingham Palace]
Dawson: Basil?
Basil: [groans]
Dawson: Basil?!
Basil: Oh, how could I have been so blind?
Dawson: Well, we all make mistakes, but we can't let that stop us. We have to.
Basil: Ratigan's proved he's more clever than I. He never would have walked into such an obvious trap.
Dawson: Oh, pull yourself together. You can stop that villain.
[The record begins to skip over Ratigan's continued 'So Long' with repeating the song: "Goodbye So Soon".]
Dawson: Basil, the record!
Basil: It's finally happened! I've been outwitted!
Dawson: Basil, please!
Basil: Beaten! Duped! Made a fool of! So ridiculed and belittled!
Dawson: [finally loses his temper] That'e enough! [The record resumes playing, startling Dawson.] Dash it all, Basil. The Queen's in danger. Olivia's counting on us. We're about to be horribly splattered, and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself. I know you can save us, but if you've given up, then why don't we just set it off now and be done with it?!
Basil: [weak chuckle] Set it off now. [slight pause, as his eyes go wide, and he realizes something] Set it.... off.... now? [suddenly regains his old confidence] Yes, ha-ha-ha, yes, we'll set the trap off NOW!
Dawson: Basil, wait. I didn't mean we'd--
[The marble starts falling as the record's done.]
Basil: Angle of the trajectory, multiplied by the square root of an isosceles triangle.... [mutters] ....dividing Guttermeg's principle of opposing forces in motion, [continues to mutters] and adjusting for the difference in equilibrium.... [all this while the marble has been rolling closer and closer to their demise] Dawson, at the exact moment I tell you, we must release the triggering mechanism. Get ready Dawson, steady.... now!
[Dawson screams and the trigger is released, but the bar traps the marble precisely, stopping the bar. A spring pops off, hits the gun which misfires into the crossbow. The bow is offset, hitting the axehead off and causing it to chop the mousetrap in half, freeing the two. Finally, the anvil crashes down, burying the axe, shaking the ground, and causing Olivia's bottle to shake and pop her out. Basil then whips off his disguise, and puts his detective outfit back on.]
Basil: [very much better] Thank you, Dawson. [catches Olivia] Smile everyone!
[Their pictures are taken]
View Quote [Hiram is programming the robot; Ratigan arrives from the shadows]
Ratigan: [chuckles evilly] Quite an ingenious scheme, eh, Flaversham? And aren't you proud to be a part of it?
Hiram: This whole thing, i-i-i-it's monstrous!
Ratigan: We will have our little device ready by tomorrow evening, won't we? [holds up his bell] You know what happens if you... fail.
Hiram: [angry] I don't care!
[Flaversham pulls the levers of the robot, causing it go haywire until it falls apart and spatters a drop of oil onto Ratigan's jacket, which he wipes off with handkerchief.
Hiram: You can do what you want with me! I won't be a part of this-this, this evil any longer.
[Pause]
Ratigan: Oh, very well. If that is your decision. [noticed the wind-up doll Hiram Flaversham made for Olivia] Oh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty of having your daughter brought here. [he winds up the doll to let it dance]
Hiram: Olivia?
Ratigan: Yes. [he lets go of the wind-up doll to let it dance] Yes. I would spend many a sleepless night if anything unfortunate were to befall her.
Hiram: [understands what Ratigan is saying] Y-you wouldn't!
[Ratigan picks up the wind-up doll and squeezes it so hard, its head pops off.]
Ratigan: [after a tense silence, then screams bloody murder] FINISH IT, FLAVERSHAM!
View Quote [Ratigan reads an extremely long list of laws he intends to pass as the Queen's Royal Consort]
Ratigan: Item 96: [chuckles] A heavy tax shall be levied against all parasites and spongers, such as the elderly, the infirm, and especially little children.
Crippled Old Mouse: That's ridiculous! You're insane!
Ratigan: Perhaps I haven't made myself clear.
[Ratigan grabs the crippled old mouse's crutch, jumps up on stage and snaps it in 2.]
Ratigan: I have the power!
Robot Queen: Of course you do.
Ratigan: I am supreme!
Robot Queen: Only you.
Ratigan: THIS IS MY KINGDOM! [laughs maniacally, then calms down] That is, of course, with your Highness's permission.
[The Robot Queen doesn't respond. Ratigan slaps it gently to get it going again]
Robot Queen: Most assuredly.... you insidious fiend!
Ratigan: [horrified] What?
Robot Queen: You're not my royal consort!
Ratigan: [to the crowd] What a sense of humor.
Robot Queen: You're a cheap fraud and impostor!
Ratigan: [aside] Flaversham!
[Cut to backstage, where we see Basil at the controls of the robot, Olivia and her father reunited and Fidget and the rest of Ratigan's minions tied up by Dawson and the real Queen]
Basil: [controlling the Robot Queen] A corrupt, vicious, demented, lowlife scoundrel! There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct.
[The Robot Queen's head springs up and bites Ratigan on the nose. Ratigan tries in vain to keep the robot down]
Robot Queen: No depravity you wouldn't commit.
[The Robot Queen rapidly starts flailing and falling apart until little remains but a pile of scrap metal and a pair of eyes and a set of teeth on a spring.]
Basil: [Controlling the Robot Queen] You, Professor....
Robot Queen: [as Ratigan starts to grow infuriated, seeing through the insults] ....are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a--!
Ratigan: DON'T SAY IT!!!
Basil: [reveals himself] SEWER RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ratigan: [screaming in anger upon hearing Basil]
Basil: Arrest that fiend!
[Ratigan sees in horror that Basil is behind him]
View Quote (reading Ratigan's letter) "To our beloved Queen, this gift we send, as her sixty-year reign.... comes to an end?"
View Quote [after the fight's over with Fidget, door closes, and the cupboard door, Olivia was put in, creaks open with big mess.] Dad, where are you?! [goes to a window] Father... where are you?! Papa! [echoing noise] DADDY!
View Quote [in an almost friendly tone] Ratigan, no one can have a higher opinion of you than I have. [furiously] And I think that you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
View Quote [looks above the doorway to another barrel, where Fidget, the bat, is hanging from the faucet, sleeping] Fidget? [Fidget doesn't wake up, so Rattigan screams in his ear.] Fidget! [Startled, Fidget falls from his perch and rolls down the stairs at Rattigan's feet.] Bright and alert as always. [hands Fidget a list] Here's the list. You know what to do, and no mistakes!
View Quote [of Ratigan] He's a genius, Dawson! A genius twisted for evil! The Napoleon of Crime!
View Quote [Rubbing his head, irritated] How dare that idiot Basil poke his stupid nose into my wonderful scheme and foul up everything!
View Quote [to Fidget] Stop! Lemme go! You ugly old thing! Help, lemme out! Lemme out!
View Quote [to Olivia, trying to control his rage] Young lady, you are most definitely not accompanying us. AND THAT IS FINAL! [later, as they sneak out with Olivia] And not a word out of you. Is that clear?
View Quote [to Ratigan] Just wait! Basil's smarter than you! He's going to put you in jail. [tugs on his tail to accent her next few insults.] He's not afraid of a big, old, ugly, rat like youǃ
View Quote [when setting off Ratigan's dastardly death trap] The angle of the trajectory multiplied by the square root of an isosceles triangle...[mumbling]...dividing Guttermeg's principle of opposing forces in motion [more mumbling] and adjusting for the difference in equilibrium... Dawson, at the exact moment I tell you, we must release the triggering mechanism! Get ready, Dawson, steady... now!
View Quote Ah, I just adore Jubilees.
View Quote Bravo, Basil! A marvelous performance. Though frankly, I expected you 15 minutes earlier. Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy?