Dawson Now, wait just a moment. How the deuce did you know I was a doctor?
A surgeon, to be exact. Just returned from military duty in Afghanistan. Am I right?
Dawson Why, ha-ha, yes. Major David Q. Dawson. But how could you possibly--?
Quite simple, really. You've sewn your torn cuff together with a Lambert stich, which, of course, only a surgeon uses. And the thread is a unique form of cat-gut, easily distinguished by its peculiar pungency, found only in the Afghan provinces.
Dawson Amazing!
Actually, it's elementary, my dear Dawson.
Now, hurry along, Dawson! We must be off to Toby's.
Dawson Toby's?
Oh, you must meet him, he's just the chap for this.
Dawson You- You want me to come?
Hah! I should think a stout-hearted army mouse like you would surely leap at the chance for adventure!
Dawson [chuckles]
Well, I am rather curious.
Wait for me! I'm coming, too! [her hat and scarf knocks over Basil's violin in the process. He dives down to catch it]
What?! Certainly not! [sets the violin back on the chair] This is no business for children.
Are we going to take a cab?
[puts his hand on his forehead with a sigh as Olivia puts several crumpets into her pocket]
My dear, I don't think you understand. It will be quite dangerous. [sits on his violin, snapping it in two] Why you-! Look what- [restrains himself] Young lady, you are most definitely not accompanying us! AND THAT IS FINALǃ
[Later, as they sneak out into Sherlock Holmes' house, with Olivia right beside them]
And not a word out of you. Is that clear?
Dawson [Both Basil and Dawson are trapped by Ratigan, about to be mousetrapped, shot by a gun and arrow, chopped in half, and then crushed by an anvil, and Ratigan has just left for Buckingham Palace]
Basil?
Dawson Basil?!
Oh, how could I have been so blind?
Dawson Well, we all make mistakes, but we can't let that stop us. We have to.
Ratigan's proved he's more clever than I. He never would have walked into such an obvious trap.
Dawson Oh, pull yourself together. You can stop that villain.
Dawson [The record begins to skip over Ratigan's continued 'So Long' with repeating the song: "Goodbye So Soon".]
Basil, the record!
It's finally happened! I've been outwitted!
Dawson Basil, please!
Beaten! Duped! Made a fool of! So ridiculed and belittled!
Dawson [finally loses his temper]
That'e enough! [The record resumes playing, startling Dawson.] Dash it all, Basil. The Queen's in danger. Olivia's counting on us. We're about to be horribly splattered, and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself. I know you can save us, but if you've given up, then why don't we just set it off now and be done with it?!
[weak chuckle]
Set it off now. [slight pause, as his eyes go wide, and he realizes something] Set it.... off.... now? [suddenly regains his old confidence] Yes, ha-ha-ha, yes, we'll set the trap off NOW!
Dawson Basil, wait. I didn't mean we'd--
[The marble starts falling as the record's done.]
Angle of the trajectory, multiplied by the square root of an isosceles triangle.... [mutters] ....dividing Guttermeg's principle of opposing forces in motion, [continues to mutters] and adjusting for the difference in equilibrium.... [all this while the marble has been rolling closer and closer to their demise] Dawson, at the exact moment I tell you, we must release the triggering mechanism. Get ready Dawson, steady.... now!
[Dawson screams and the trigger is released, but the bar traps the marble precisely, stopping the bar. A spring pops off, hits the gun which misfires into the crossbow. The bow is offset, hitting the axehead off and causing it to chop the mousetrap in half, freeing the two. Finally, the anvil crashes down, burying the axe, shaking the ground, and causing Olivia's bottle to shake and pop her out. Basil then whips off his disguise, and puts his detective outfit back on.]
[very much better]
Thank you, Dawson. [catches Olivia] Smile everyone!
[Their pictures are taken]
[hugs Basil]
Goodbye, Basil. I'll never forget you.
[Basil smiles at Olivia and leans down and puts his hands on her shoulders]
Nor I you, Miss--Miss Flangerhanger. [Olivia stares for a moment, then shakes her head, a smile on her face]
Dawson [chuckles]
Whatever.
