Jeff Do you need a stuffed animal? I have a dog. I think I have a bear. Yeah, I have a bear.
Played by Nick Swardson 
Grandma's Boy (2006) · 143 quotes
Grandma's Boy (2006) · 143 quotes
Most-quoted character in Grandma's Boy (2006): in 42 of its 143 quotes
Most scenes with: Alex (3), Shilo (2)
My name is JP. I am a robot. I like robots. I have a robot vagina.
More lines from Jeff
36 quotes Jeff Jeff I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in the world right now.
Jeff My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I can talk to other car beds.
Jeff I'll run over your attitude, It sucks.
Jeff Line up you ****in' nerds. Who's wants a shot at the champ!?
Jeff Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.
Jeff What's goin' on, shitlips?
Jeff Whats up Douche Bigelow?
Jeff You're dead to me, over.
Jeff [sigh]
I shoulda' worn a condom.
Jeff That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so you're - dumb.
Jeff Nice karma, Guy-Blow.
Jeff I have to pee out of my ass.
Jeff [to Grace]
So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean, you saw a lotta stuff go down. World War I, World War II, the automobile, Tupac, i mean... [GRACE: I once gave Charlie Chaplain a hand job] Noo way! Was he silent?
Jeff Wassup, Silver Fox?
Jeff Oh, I started a fight club.
Jeff Shit's weak! Shit's weak! Wizzeak!
Jeff Hey, look! It's Bono's brother.
Jeff Yea.. but it's a **** sweet car!
Jeff Let's do it—The levels I mean, not sex.
Jeff Uh-oh? What does that mean? High score? Is that bad? Did I break it?
Jeff That's cool.....if you wanna be sober and vomit.
Jeff Dude, wanking off on my mom is one thing, but doing your grandma...Thats legendary!
Jeff Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?
Jeff Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's pussy smelled like the Great Depression.
Jeff Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie! (Barry: For thirteen hours!)
Jeff Dude, we were just kidding JP. (mimicking JP's Robot voice) Dont be mad at us!
Jeff Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!
Jeff Let's **** rage!
Jeff Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...(said like a news anchor) "A little Hiroshima on my balls".
Jeff Who wants to know what Jackie Gleason's balls tasted like? Yes, Cornbread.
Jeff Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!
Jeff Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.
Jeff I love my turtle.
Jeff You were a dirty old whore.
Jeff Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing, but doing your grandmother and her two roommates? That's like, legendary!
Scenes with Jeff
5 scenes Jeff What's up Douche Bigalow?
Hey Speed Racer. Did you valet your bed?
Jeff No, I self parked it in your asshole
Dude, your bed's a car.
Jeff Yeah, but it's a ****in' sweet car.
Jeff Just keep your voice down. My roommates are sleeping.
You mean your parents?
Jeff Yeah, same thing.
Nice jammies.
Jeff Thanks. They're a present from my roommates.
Jeff [to Grace]
So I mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean, you saw a lotta stuff go down. World War I, World War II, the automobile, Tupac, I mean...
I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob.
Jeff No way! Was he silent?
Not after I got through with him.
Jeff So Barry sucked on his first boobie last night.
Barry [people clap] [proudly]
For 13 hours.
