Lieutenant Hauk You know, it wouldn't kill you people to salute me once in a while. Lieutenant Hauk I understand you're pretty funny as a DJ, and, well comedy is a kind of hobby of mine. Well, actually, it's a little more than just a hobby. Reader's Digest is considering publishing two of my jokes. Lieutenant Hauk You are not funny. But you are a maniac, and you'd better start changing your life.