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Toad: Perhaps you forget that it was a rat who cast me from paradise!
Le Frog: [Rolling his eyes] Oh please not the scrapbook again.
Toad: [pulls a book off a shelf] My memoirs. Volume one details the dire and tragic story of my youth.
Le Frog: Oh mon dieu.
Toad: Of all the pets in Buckingham Palace, young Prince Charles fancied me the best. We would frolic day after sunny day in royal abandon sharing that sweet and magical bond between boy and toad.
Le Frog: You're going to make me throw up.
Toad: We were inseparable until... it arrived. THAT RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While the poor boy's head was turned, I was cruelly plunged into a whirlpool of despair. [begins to cry]
Le Frog: I know, I know. You were flushed away down the loo right? [drinks some wine, then spits it out. Exclaims in disgust after reading the label British Bliss Wine] Boo hoo hoo, it is so dark, so cold, so terrible. [chuckles]
Toad: You find my pain funny?
Le Frog: I find everyone's pain funny but my own. I'm French. [chuckles nervously]
Toad: [stands up and knocks over a table] JUST GET THE CABLE!!!!!!!!!!


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