Betty When I was four, just four years old, I went to my mother and I said, "What's this hole in my chin?" - I saw this dimple in my chin in the mirror, and didn't know what it was. And my mother said - get what my mother says - she says, "When you're born, you go on a assembly line past God, and if He likes you, He says, [grabs her cheeks with both her hands] "You cute little thing!" and you get dimples there. And if He doesn't like you, He goes, [presses one finger on her chin] "Go away." So about six months later, my mother found me saying my prayers, and I was going, [holds one hand over her chin] "Now I lay me down to sleep..." My mother says, "What are you covering up your chin for?" And I said, "Because if I cover up the hole, maybe He'll listen to me."
You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something - how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?
Betty That's a wig you wear, isn't it?
Betty Yeah, I told her it was you but that you were wearin' a wig because on the TV you're mostly all, uh - [pats him on the head] bald up there! [laughs]
[laughs]
Your, your little friend's real, real sharp. Uh, I don't, uh, I don't wear the wig on TV because if you're gonna be out there in front of two and a half million people, you've got to be sincere. I mean, I like to wear it when I'm in bowling alleys and slipping around, stuff like that. I think it gives me a little class. What do you think?
I'm sitting here, listening to some cracker asshole who lives in a trailer park compare his life to mine! Keep on telling me about the good life, Elton, because it makes me puke.
Elton If you're sayin' you think you're somethin' better than what I am, now that's somethin' else. But I can't say much of someone who would run off and leave a woman in a situation like this and feel easy about it. And that's all I have to say.
Well, I'm glad that's all you gotta say, Elton, because I'm about as goddamn tired of your mouth as I am working on this goddamn job.
Elton [Bobby storms off]
Shit ass!
It's useless...I'm trying to be delicate with you, but you just won't understand. I couldn't go with you. Not just because of Carl and my music, but because of you. You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something - how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?
I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee, and wheat toast.
Waitress No substitutions.
What do you mean? You don't have any tomatoes?
Waitress Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two - a plain omelette. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.
Yeah, I know what it comes with. But it's not what I want.
Waitress Well, I'll come back when you make up your mind.
Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. I'd like a plain omelette, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee, and a side order of wheat toast.
Waitress I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast...an English muffin or a coffee roll.
What do you mean you don't make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don't you?
Waitress Would you like to talk to the manager?
...You've got bread and a toaster of some kind?
Waitress I don't make the rules.
OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelette, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress A number two, chicken sal san, hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.
Waitress You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
I want you to hold it between your knees.
Waitress Do you see that sign, sir? Yes, you'll all have to leave. I'm not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm.
You see this sign? [He sweeps all the water glasses and menus off the table]
Well, there's fishing, boating, and concerts on the mainland. [Laughs] I feel funny telling you this. This is really your home. You probably know better than I what there is to do.
Well, it must be very boring for you here.
I find that very hard to comprehend. I don't think I've ever been bored. Excuse me.
Hey, follow that truck. They know the best places to stop.
That's an old maid's tale.
Bullshit! Truck drivers are the only ones that know the best places to stop on the road.
Salesmen and cops are the ones. If you'd ever waitressed, honey, you'd know that.
Don't call me honey, mac.
Don't call me mac, honey.
