Dog Soldiers (2002) · 28 quotes
We are gonna make it through this. You know why? I don't scare that easy.
Private Cooper
Yeah, I failed. I'm bloody glad of it. Cos' given the choice of takin' orders from a toffee-nosed twat like you and sluggin' it out with these guys, I'll take the underdogs any time.
Private Cooper
Ryan. Ya tried lickin' your own balls yet? [the werewolf Ryan slams him against the wall] I forgot, you don't ****in' have any.
Private Cooper
You think it's all over? It is now. [shoots Ryan in the head, killing him]
Cooper
Go on then, Bruce, what scares you?
The self-destructive nature of the human condition.
Spoon
You're just takin' the piss now.
Oh, you think so?
Cooper
What about you then, Spoon?
Spoon
Castration.
Cooper
Hm, there's no argument there. Joe?
Only one thing guaranteed to put the shits up me: a penalty shoot-out.
Cooper
Figures. Terry?
Watchin' a penalty shoot-out... with Joe.
What about you, Coop?
Cooper
Spiders. And women. And, uh... spider-women.
Wells
My guts are out, Coop!
Cooper
We'll just put 'em back in then!
Wells
They're not gonna **** fit!
Cooper
Of course they'll fit, man!
Cooper
How are you feeling?
Wells
A touch of gas. And the fact that various body parts are trying to vacate the premises, **** awful.
Cooper
What now?
Spoon
They shut down the generator!
Why would they do that?
Megan
Because they can see in the dark.
Ryan
And you're afraid of it.
Megan
Tell me. Honestly, what are our chances?
Cooper
Morale seems good, considering. But that will only last as long as the ammunition holds out; high spirits are no substitute for eight hundred rounds a minute, but I don't think that's what you wanted to hear.
Cooper
So either we all make a break for it and fight our way clear, or the rest of us keep them occupied while one of us goes for help.
And by the time the cavalry get here, they'll have to pick what's left of us from between their ****in' teeth.
Cooper
Well, Ryan, you heard the score. Maybe one or two of us are gonna make it through this. I don't care much for our chances. D'ye like football?
Ryan
What, "they think it's all over" and all that crap? No, I don't.
Cooper
Well, Joe, you remember Joe? He liked football. ****in' lived for it.
Ryan
Is this relevant?
Cooper
He missed the most important match of his life for this bullshit exercise, and now he's dead along with two other mates I'd have readily given my right arm for. Too ****in' right it's "relevant"!
Ryan
Ever heard of Special Weapons Division? They're the men in white coats who train dolphins to stick mines on submarines, and cute furry animals to tear your head off at the neck. They saw an opportunity and called me in.
Cooper
To do what? Catch one of these things?
Ryan
And to bring it back. Alive, if possible.
Megan
Only "it" turned out to be "them".
Ryan
We underestimated enemy numbers.
Cooper
Underestimated? I'd have a serious word with your head scheds about the quality of their intelligence.
Ryan
It may have been their invitation, but it was my party. I planned it, executed it.
Cooper
And you loused it up.
Wells
We lost good men, Ryan. Yours and mine. I want to know... [slides a tracking chip Campbell found in the radio over to Ryan] ...where we fit in.
Ryan
The reality is, you're expendable. And I had approval to put you at risk.
Cooper
Get to the ****in' point, Ryan!
Ryan
I made a gap in enemy lines. You were good enough to spot it, and predictable enough to go for it. That was your bait. You were mine.
Cooper
You bastard.
Ryan
I had to choose somebody. I remembered you. Monkey see, monkey do.
Wells
They were my men!
Cooper
Get up, ya shit! You know what we can do! Give us a fightin' chance!
Ryan
Live and learn, Cooper.
Cooper
Werewolves spend most of their time in human form, right? [holds up a picture of the family living in the house] And the only people for miles around live right here.
Spoon
So these things aren't about to give up the fight and go home...
Cooper
They are home.
Wells
Yeah, well, that makes perfect sense, don't it? I mean, think about it. We bust into their house, we eat all their porridge, we sleep in their **** beds. No wonder they're pissed off.
Megan
But they're good people, they're kind people.
Cooper
More's the pity.
Megan
Why?
Cooper
Cos' we're gonna have to kill them all.
Wells
Too right, mate. [smashes the picture with a hammer]
Cooper
You alright?
Wells
Oh yeah, I'm fine, Cooper. I mean, I feel... absolutely fantastic. That's the problem, isn't it, eh? What if she's wrong? What if they're not all in there, eh?
Cooper
Then we get some of 'em. It's a shitload better than none of 'em, and a marked improvement on all of us.
Wells
No no no, you listen to me. You get the **** out now. I hold 'em back, I keep 'em occupied, and you get out.
Cooper
We've lost enough men for one night, d'ye think?
Wells
Let me show you something. [opens his jacket and removes his bandage, showing his near-disemboweling to have almost fully healed] Now do not tell me that that is **** normal. What happened to Ryan is happening to me. It's just a matter of time, mate.
Cooper
Stop wasting time with this hari-kari crap. This fight isn't lost yet.
Wells
With Ryan, it only took a couple of hours, mate. It's a full moon. I mean, I don't know, maybe it's like when you need to take a piss or something, I don't know. When you gotta go, you gotta **** go.
Cooper
Or maybe it's more like needin' a shite. Just cos' you need one doesn't mean you drop your kegs and pinch one off. [Wells chuckles] Anyway, **** Ryan. Shifty bastard could've been one of those things from the start.
Wells
You know, Coop, there's one more thing you've gotta learn about command, mate: Sometimes the people that you kill... are your own men.
Megan
I'm sorry. When I found you out there tonight, I truly believed you were the best chance I had of getting out. But now we have no chance. There is no out, there never was. I came here to be at one with nature. Well, I got what I wanted... now I have to live with it.
Cooper
There is no house in the next glen.
Megan
No.
Cooper
And there were no werewolves in the barn when it blew.
Megan
Not one.
Cooper
And the reason you're not in the photograph is because you took it.
Megan
I never meant to..
Cooper
New women. Same old shite.
Megan
Being nice to women will get you nowhere, Cooper. Being nice to me will get you killed. You may think they're all bitches but... I'm the real thing. [she starts to transform but she painfully represses it] Do you think I like being part of this ****-up family? You think I chose to run with the pack? No. I chose you. But now you're out of luck, and I'm out of time, and all we can do is let nature take its course. They were always here. I just unlocked the door. It's that time of the month.
Wells
Somebody had to put her out of her misery.
