Dog Soldiers 2002 quotes

Cooper

How are you feeling?

Wells

A touch of gas. And the fact that various body parts are trying to vacate the premises, **** awful.

Cooper

So either we all make a break for it and fight our way clear, or the rest of us keep them occupied while one of us goes for help.

And by the time the cavalry get here, they'll have to pick what's left of us from between their ****in' teeth.

Cooper

Well, Ryan, you heard the score. Maybe one or two of us are gonna make it through this. I don't care much for our chances. D'ye like football?

Ryan

What, "they think it's all over" and all that crap? No, I don't.

Cooper

Well, Joe, you remember Joe? He liked football. ****in' lived for it.

Ryan

Is this relevant?

Cooper

He missed the most important match of his life for this bullshit exercise, and now he's dead along with two other mates I'd have readily given my right arm for. Too ****in' right it's "relevant"!

Cooper

Werewolves spend most of their time in human form, right? [holds up a picture of the family living in the house] And the only people for miles around live right here.

Spoon

So these things aren't about to give up the fight and go home...

Cooper

They are home.

Wells

Yeah, well, that makes perfect sense, don't it? I mean, think about it. We bust into their house, we eat all their porridge, we sleep in their **** beds. No wonder they're pissed off.

Megan

But they're good people, they're kind people.

Cooper

More's the pity.

Megan

Why?

Cooper

Cos' we're gonna have to kill them all.

Wells

Too right, mate. [smashes the picture with a hammer]

Cooper

What now?

Spoon

They shut down the generator!

Why would they do that?

Megan

Because they can see in the dark.

Ryan

And you're afraid of it.

Megan

I'm sorry. When I found you out there tonight, I truly believed you were the best chance I had of getting out. But now we have no chance. There is no out, there never was. I came here to be at one with nature. Well, I got what I wanted... now I have to live with it.

Cooper

There is no house in the next glen.

Megan

No.

Cooper

And there were no werewolves in the barn when it blew.

Megan

Not one.

Cooper

And the reason you're not in the photograph is because you took it.

Megan

I never meant to..

Cooper

New women. Same old shite.

Megan

Being nice to women will get you nowhere, Cooper. Being nice to me will get you killed. You may think they're all bitches but... I'm the real thing. [she starts to transform but she painfully represses it] Do you think I like being part of this ****-up family? You think I chose to run with the pack? No. I chose you. But now you're out of luck, and I'm out of time, and all we can do is let nature take its course. They were always here. I just unlocked the door. It's that time of the month.

Wells

Somebody had to put her out of her misery.

Megan

Tell me. Honestly, what are our chances?

Cooper

Morale seems good, considering. But that will only last as long as the ammunition holds out; high spirits are no substitute for eight hundred rounds a minute, but I don't think that's what you wanted to hear.

Megan

What happened?

Spoon

What happened? We were attacked by huge ****in' howlin' things, that's what.

I want to know what scares the Sarge.

Spoon

Piss off, man, nothin' scares the Sarge.

Wells

I don't know about that; the thought of never seeing my wife again scares the shit out of me. That and those little things that make your skin crawl and the hair stand up on the back of your neck.

You mean like Spoon? [Spoon makes an "up yours" gesture]

Wells

No, there's one thing, actually, in particular that I'll remember 'til the day I die. Yeah, it was back in '91, just before my unit was flown out to Kuwait to mop up the last pockets of resistance. Me and this young fella called Eddie Oswald decided to get a tattoo done to commemorate our first trip into the desert.

I remember 'im, he was... he was a stocky hardcase with a broken nose and a bong eye, eh?

Wells

Yeah, that's him. Good-lookin' fella, big hit with the ladies. [the men chuckle] Anyway, me and Eddie, we went and had a few drinks - we had a lot of drinks - and we went down to the tattoo parlor, and I got a desert rat done. And Eddie, being Eddie, wanted something a bit more meaning. And being a bit of a believer, he said that his soul still belonged to God. But his flesh, oh, his flesh was way beyond redemption, and it was up to Satan to save his skin. So he got this **** great laughing devil tattooed right on his arse. [the men laugh] Anyway, about six days later, we were making a regular sweep along the Iraqi border, and Eddie... poor ****er triggered an anti-tank mine.

Wells

Yeah, we all saw it happen, I mean, he was on point. White, blinding lightning flash and a **** deafening crack, and by the time we picked ourselves up off the deck, Eddie was... he was gone. Just bits and pieces of him, s'all that remained, this big ****in' red circle, hundred meters. I'll tell you something, lads, it really puts things in perspective when you have to scoop your mate up with a shovel and stick him in a bin bag. Anyway, the thing that really did our nuts in that day was when you, uh... came across a bit you recognized. Bit of ear, toe, a nose, a tooth. But the thing that really freaked us out that day was when Left-Hand Charlie found the bit of Eddie with the tattoo on it. I mean, everything else was burnt to a crisp, covered in claret, all mushed up, pulped up. Not this bit. This bit was perfect. And there's old Nick, chortlin' his ****in' arsehole off at us. So you could say that Eddie was right, that Satan did indeed save his skin. Just not all of it. Or you could say that Eddie was just unlucky. Either way, it taught me to keep a very open mind. Boom. Boom.

Ryan

Ever heard of Special Weapons Division? They're the men in white coats who train dolphins to stick mines on submarines, and cute furry animals to tear your head off at the neck. They saw an opportunity and called me in.

Cooper

To do what? Catch one of these things?

Ryan

And to bring it back. Alive, if possible.

Megan

Only "it" turned out to be "them".

Ryan

We underestimated enemy numbers.

Cooper

Underestimated? I'd have a serious word with your head scheds about the quality of their intelligence.

Ryan

It may have been their invitation, but it was my party. I planned it, executed it.

Cooper

And you loused it up.

Wells

We lost good men, Ryan. Yours and mine. I want to know... [slides a tracking chip Campbell found in the radio over to Ryan] ...where we fit in.

Ryan

The reality is, you're expendable. And I had approval to put you at risk.

Cooper

Get to the ****in' point, Ryan!

Ryan

I made a gap in enemy lines. You were good enough to spot it, and predictable enough to go for it. That was your bait. You were mine.

Cooper

You bastard.

Ryan

I had to choose somebody. I remembered you. Monkey see, monkey do.

Wells

They were my men!

Cooper

Get up, ya shit! You know what we can do! Give us a fightin' chance!

Ryan

Live and learn, Cooper.

Spoon

You know what this reminds me of? Rorke's Drift. A hundred men of Harlech making a desperate stand against ten thousand Zulu warriors. Outnumbered, surrounded, staring death in the face, not flinching for a moment. Balls of British steel.

You're bloody loving this, aren't you? It's totally bone. That's all there is to say.

Wells

If we do happen to make contact, I expect nothing less than gratuitous violence from the lot of ya. Because we're firing blanks doesn't mean we have to be thinking nice thoughts. So you remember, you keep the fire down, right, you get stuck in and you kick their **** teeth out, or I guarantee you, Joe, they will be eating your bollocks for breakfast, sunshine.

Hard-boiled or fried, Sarge?

Wells

Scrambled.

Wells

Right lads, ditch your 80s. From here on in the exercise is well and truly over. Anyone not carrying live rounds had better do so.

Ryan

It won't make any difference. They won't die.

Wells

Yeah, well, this gives me better peace of mind, sir.

Ryan

You want peace of mind? Run for lives before they tear your legs from under you.

Wells

Will you just shut up, like a good gentleman? You are scaring my lads.

Cooper

You alright?

Wells

Oh yeah, I'm fine, Cooper. I mean, I feel... absolutely fantastic. That's the problem, isn't it, eh? What if she's wrong? What if they're not all in there, eh?

Cooper

Then we get some of 'em. It's a shitload better than none of 'em, and a marked improvement on all of us.

Wells

No no no, you listen to me. You get the **** out now. I hold 'em back, I keep 'em occupied, and you get out.

Cooper

We've lost enough men for one night, d'ye think?

Wells

Let me show you something. [opens his jacket and removes his bandage, showing his near-disemboweling to have almost fully healed] Now do not tell me that that is **** normal. What happened to Ryan is happening to me. It's just a matter of time, mate.

Cooper

Stop wasting time with this hari-kari crap. This fight isn't lost yet.

Wells

With Ryan, it only took a couple of hours, mate. It's a full moon. I mean, I don't know, maybe it's like when you need to take a piss or something, I don't know. When you gotta go, you gotta **** go.

Cooper

Or maybe it's more like needin' a shite. Just cos' you need one doesn't mean you drop your kegs and pinch one off. [Wells chuckles] Anyway, **** Ryan. Shifty bastard could've been one of those things from the start.

Wells

You know, Coop, there's one more thing you've gotta learn about command, mate: Sometimes the people that you kill... are your own men.

Wells

My guts are out, Coop!

Cooper

We'll just put 'em back in then!

Wells

They're not gonna **** fit!

Cooper

Of course they'll fit, man!