“Captain Clarney, I'd like you to meet Barnabas Collins.” – Willie Loomis, Dark Shadows ... Movie Quotes Database

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A scene from Dark Shadows 2012

Willie Loomis

Captain Clarney, I'd like you to meet Barnabas Collins.

Clarney

Collins? And uh, why does a Collins want to talk to me?

Barnabas Collins

To offer you a contract.

Clarney

I have a contract. With Angel Bay.

Barnabas Collins

And if I told you I could offer you a better one?

Clarney

Then, Mr. Collins, I would tell you to take a long walk off a short pier.

In this scene

Barnabas Collins Johnny Depp More Barnabas Collins quotes →

More from Dark Shadows

Roger Collins Don't you mind that the villagers will think you mad? Elizabeth Collins Stoddard Of course I mind! But I'd mind more suffocating to death in a coffin---THAT is my choice. Barnabas Collins The Collinses have always held the biggest and most expensive balls. Roger Collins That's what I've been saying, this family needs more balls! Angelique Bouchard I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box. Barnabas Collins I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!