Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee No wonder you have so many accidents around here, the steering wheel's on the wrong side of the car!
Played by Paul Hogan 
Crocodile Dundee (1986) · 12 quotes
Crocodile Dundee (1986) · 12 quotes
Most-quoted character in Crocodile Dundee (1986): in 11 of its 12 quotes
Most scenes with: Sue Charlton (3)
Get on the right side of the road, you pelican!
More lines from Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee
6 quotes Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee [sings in the bathtub]
If I give my heart to you... [pause] then I'll have none and you'll have two.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee [singing]
Up North in the Never Never / Where the land is harsh and bare / Lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee / Who can dance like Fred Astaire!
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee Well, you see, Aborigines don't own the land. They belong to it. It's like their mother. See those rocks? Been standing there for 600 million years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee It's for washing your backside! right?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee [honks horn and yells to water buffalo]
"Get out of the way dopey!"
Scenes with Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee
4 scenes
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee What for?
He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee [chuckling]
That's not a knife. [draws a large Bowie knife] That's a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee [Dundee slashes the teen mugger's jacket. He and his friends run away]
Just kids having fun. You alright?
I'm always all right when I'm with you Dundee.
Richard Mason New York City, Mr. Dundee. Home to seven million people.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee That's incredible. Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together. Yeah, New York must be the friendliest place on earth.
That croc would have eaten me alive.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee Oh well, I wouldn't hold that against him. [The] thought crossed my mind once or twice.
She's not nuts. Don't you ever have problems in Walkabout Creek?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee Well, if y' have a problem… take it to Wally… Wally'll tell the town… no more problem.