Clueless quotes

63 total quotes

Cher Horowitz
Dionne Davenport
Mr. Wendell Hall

View Quote Travis Birkenstock: It's one of my steps. See, I joined this club and there are these steps. [starts counting]
Cher Horowitz: 12?
Travis Birkenstock: Yeah, twelve. How did you know?
Cher Horowitz: Wild guess.

View Quote Mel Horowitz: You drink?
Christian: No, thanks, I'm cool.
Mel Horowitz: I'm not offering. I'm asking if you drink. You think I'd give alcohol to teenage drivers taking my daughter out?
Christian: Hey, man! The protective vibe. I dig.
Mel Horowitz: What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?

View Quote (Elton has just tried to kiss Cher, forcing her to leave the car)
Elton: Cher! Where you going? You're only hurting yourself here, baby. Come on, you gonna walk home? Get back in the car, please! Get back in the car!
Cher Horowitz: Leave me alone!
Elton: Fine! (drives off)
Cher Horowitz: Hey, where are you going?! Ohhhh, shit.

View Quote Josh Lucas: If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't 90% selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher Horowitz: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

View Quote Cher Horowitz: Hey! You know about this stuff. I wanna do something good for humanity.
Josh Lucas: How about sterilization?

View Quote Dionne and her boyfriend Murray are in this dramatic relationship. I think they've seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie just too many times.

View Quote Cher, I don't want to do this anymore. And my buns: they don't feel nothin' like steel

View Quote Dionne Davenport: Hello! There was a stop sign.
Cher Horowitz: I totally paused.

View Quote Now could all conversations please come to a halt? And could the suicide attempts please be postponed till the next period?

View Quote Mel Horowitz: Josh, are you still growing? You look taller than you did at Easter.
Josh Lucas: I don't think so.
Mel Horowitz: Cher, doesn't he look bigger?
Cher Horowitz: His head does.

View Quote Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.

View Quote [Cher and Josh kiss] Well...you can guess what happens next. [Cut to a shot of a wedding.] As if! I'm only sixteen, and this is California, not Kentucky!

View Quote Josh Lucas: Hey, James Bond, this is America. We drive on the right side of the road.
Cher Horowitz: I am! You try driving in platforms!

View Quote Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

View Quote [While taking her driver's test] Oops! Should I write them a note?