[admiring Randy sleeping in the mess of gift wrap]

My gosh, would you look at that mess? Who's going to clean the papers up?

Not me.

Oh, really? Randy did it last year.

Well, he can do it again.

You know, this wine ain't bad. You want a sip?

Yeah.

No, you don't. Did you have a nice Christmas?

Yeah, pretty nice.

Yeah? Did you get everything you wanted?

[thinking about not getting the BB gun]

Well, almost.

Almost, huh? Well, that's life. Well, there's always next Christmas.

Yep.

[feigns a surprised look]

Hey. That's funny. What's that over there behind the desk?

Where?

Uh...behind the desk against the wall over there... Go check it out. Go on.

[Ralphie goes to the desk and pulls out a large present]

What did we put over there, honey?

[stammers]

Uh, Santa Claus probably put it.

[opens gift to see a Red Ryder BB gun]

WOW!
[Mrs. Parker is not pleased at the sight of the BB gun] Ralphie as an Adult [narrating] Oh it was beautiful, I could hardly wait to try it out.

[laughs]

Do you know how to load it?

Yeah. [loads gun]

C-careful. They run all over. Close it up. Close it up.

[delighted]

Can I...Can I try it out, Ma? Can I?

Sure.

[reluctantly]

Okay. But outside. Oh... I still say those things are dangerous. [Ralphie leaves] No, no! Put on your galoshes and your coat. It's cold out! [looks at Mr. Parker, not pleased]

But...I had one when I was eight years old.

What if he hurts himself? Ralphie, your coat! Don't shoot any animals or birds.

Except the Bumpuses' dogs!

Oh, hush. Be careful, Ralphie!