N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


Borat quotes

10 total quotes

View Quote Borat: I want to say I very sorry how they treat you at this house.
Luenell: Thank you. I was thinkin' maybe I'd just take the night off and... Why don't we just go out and have some fun? What do you think about that?
Borat: [to Azamat] You want to come with us?
Azamat: Up yours!
View Quote Borat: Look, there is woman in car. Can we follow her, get her and maybe have sexy time with her?
Driving instructor: No! No, you cannot do that.
Borat: Why not?
Driving instructor: Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with.
Borat: [incredously] What!?
Driving instructor: Yeah, how about that?
Borat: You joke, right?
Driving instructor: No, there must be consent.
Borat: Ha-ha-ha!
Driving instructor: That good, huh?
Borat: Not good for me.
View Quote Borat: My wife make this cheese.
Bob Barr: It's very nice.
Borat: She make it from milk from her tits.
View Quote Borat: This-a my wife Oksana. She is-a boring.
Oksana: What did you say about me, you skinny piece of shit?
Borat: Please, not now.
Oksana: Why don't you do something useful and dig your mother a grave?
View Quote Borat: What is a 'not' jokes?
Pat Haggerty: A 'not' joke is when we're trying to make fun of something and what we do is, we make a statement that we pretend is true but at the end, we say 'not,' which means it's not true.
Borat: So teach me how to make one.
Pat Haggerty: Alright. What color is your suit?
Borat: This suit is gray.
Pat Haggerty: Gray. I would call it blue, okay?
'Borat: It's gray.
Pat Haggerty: Alright, it's blue-gray. But it...
Borat: Well, it's more gray.
Pat Haggerty: It's certainly not black, right? Alright, let's say it's gray. But it's not...
Borat: It is gray.
Pat Haggerty: Okay, so a 'not' joke, I would say, 'That suit is black. Not!'
Borat: This-a suit is NOT BLACK!
Pat Haggerty: No, no, 'not' has to be at the end.
Borat: Oh, okay.
Pat Haggerty: Okay.
Borat: This suit is black not.
Pat Haggerty: This suit is black. Pause. You know what a pause is?
Borat: Yes.
Pat Haggerty: This suit is black. Not!
Borat: This suit is black, pause, not.
Pat Haggerty: No, you don't say 'pause.' This suit is black... That's a pause. Not!
Borat: This suit is black...
Pat Haggerty: Okay, um... I don't... I don't...I'm not quite...
View Quote Hotel Employee: Mr. Sagdiyev?
Borat: Yes?
Hotel Employee: I have a telegram for you.
Borat: You can read?
Hotel Employee: Yes, I can. "Dear Borat Sagdiyev, your wife Oksana was walking your ****ed Bilo in the woods, when a bear attacked and violated and break her. She is now dead."
Borat: You say my wife is dead?
Hotel Employee: This is what it's... Yes, sir. I'm sorry to inform you, but that's what the telegram says.
Borat: High five! Great!
View Quote [Borat and Azamat decide to stay at a bed-and-breakfast for the night; Borat knocks on the door]
Jewish Man: Hi.
Borat: Thank you. You have room for tonight?
Jewish Man: Oh, yes. Yes, definitely. Come on in.
Jewish Woman: So, come on in. Your friend, also.
Borat: Oh, beautiful house.
Jewish Woman: All the paintings in the house, I did.
Borat: [looking at one of the paintings] What is this man?
Jewish Woman: This is a Yemenite Jew, and he's working on a piece of jewelry. The Yemenites were also jewelers.
Borat: Why you have a picture of a Jew?
Jewish Woman: Because I'm Jewish, so I have lots of pictures of Jews.
[Borat is shocked and horrified to hear his hosts are Jewish; they then show Borat and Azamat to the room]
Jewish Woman: This is the room, and, uh, do you need two pillows?
Borat: Great, thank you. Lovely place. [closes the door and whispers to Azamat] They're Jews.
Azamat: I know that now. They'll kill us. We need to escape.
View Quote [Borat tries to check into a fancy hotel while dressed and talking like a gangster]
Borat: What's up with it, Vanilla Face? Me and my homie, Azamat, just parked our slab outside. [the receptionist goes to call security] We're looking for somewhere to post up our black asses for the night. So, uh, bang, bang, skeet, skeet, ****. [security arrives] We're just a couple of pimps, no hos.
Guard: Sir, sir, you gotta leave.
Borat: Okay...
Guard: Either leave now, or we're gonna call the cops, and we'll have you taken out.
Borat: [as he and Azamat drive away] We can't stay here. They are "player haters."
View Quote [Borat, coming out of the bathroom, naked, catches Azamat, also naked, masturbating over the Baywatch magazine]
[Furious, Borat lunges at Azamat and snatches the magazine]
Azamat: What's the matter with you?!
Borat: [puts the magazine away and tackles Azamat] How dare you make hand-party over Pamela!
Azamat: Why do you care who I pleasure myself to?!
Borat: Because I love this woman! She's the reason we travel to California!
Azamat: WHAT?!?! YOU LIED TO ME! You lied about California!
[Borat and Azamat begin beating each other up with lamps and pushing each other into the walls, while yelling in Kazakh]
Azamat: [throws Borat on the bed and jumps on top of him] EAT MY ASSHOLE!
[Borat pushes Azamat off him. Azamat throws a suitcase at Borat and runs into the hallway with Borat chasing him, both men still naked. They run into a crowded elevator and the passengers avert their eyes and leave. When the last passenger leaves, Borat chases Azamat through the lobby and into a fancy banquet]
Banquet Host: We have a special guest here this evening. Uh, Ruth Feiner is here...
[Borat and Azamat barge into the ballroom, shouting in Kazakh. Security guards tackle them]
Guard: Get the **** out of here!
View Quote [Having learned Borat and Azamat's hosts are Jewish, Borat makes an entry in his video diary in the middle of the night]
Borat: It is 3:00 in the morning. I am in the nest of Jews. They have cleverly shifted their shapes; one of them has taken the form of a little old woman. You can barely see her horns. She have tried to poison me already. These rats are very clever. [hears a noise and turns on the light. He and Azamat see two ****roaches crawling under their bedroom door.]
Azamat: Look! The Jews have shifted their shapes!
Borat: [grabs a wad of cash] Oh God, how much shall I give them?
Azamat: [panicking] I don't know! [Borat throws a dollar bill at the ****roaches] More! Give them more than that! [Borat throws more dollar bills at them] It's not working! Run! Run!