ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Multiple Characters quotes

Mexican Outlaw: Badges? We don't need no stinkin badges!

Mongo: Mongo only pawn in game of life.

Mongo: Don't know. Got to do with where choo-choo go...

Mongo: (about to open an exploding candy-gram) Mongo like candy.

Lily: Hello handsome. Is that a ten-gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show?

Lily: Ooh, a wed wose. How...womantic.

Lily: (with Bart in the dark) Is it twue what they say about your people being... gifted? (loud unzipping noise) Oh it's TWUE! It's twue, it's twue!

Olson Johnson: All right, we'll give some land to the ****s and the ****, but we don't want the IRISH.

Reverend: Oh Lord, can we complete this mighty task in one night, or we all just jerking off?
Everyone Else: AMEN.
Lyle: (after Lyle and a bunch of other guys farted for 3 minutes) How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?
Taggart: I'd say you've had enough.

Charlie: Bart?
Bart: What?
Charlie: Am I wrong, or is the world...rising?
Bart: I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it!

Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out...
[People cringe back and a woman screams - he pulls out a letter - people sigh, almost sounding disappointed]
Bart (continuing): By the power invested in me by the honorable William J. Le Petomane--
[People start ****ing guns and pointing them at Bart]
Bart (continuing): I hereby assume the duties of sheriff in and for the township of Rockridge.
Reverend: Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's not let anger rule the day! (waving Bible) As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay heed to this good book and what it has to saaaayyy!
[A hole is shot through the Bible; the Reverend turns to Bart]
Reverend: Son, you're on your own. (exit Reverend)

[The people are about to shoot Bart at his opening speech - until he takes himself hostage]
Bart (gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar): Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the **** gets it.
Dr. Johnson: Hold it men--he's not bluffing! (all but one man drop their guns)
Dr. Samuel Johnson:Listen to him men, he's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart (gruff, to the one with a gun still): Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this ****'s head ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy... do what he saaaayyyy...(the man slowly drops the gun)
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? [Bart is slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebbody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! (gruff voice) Shut up! [He covers his mouth and pushes his way inside the office] (normal voice, to himself) Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!

Bart: Are we awake?
The Waco Kid: We are not sure. Are we...black?
Bart: Yes we are.
The Waco Kid: Then we're awake. But we're very puzzled.

Sheriff Bart: So, since I am your host, and you are my guest. What's your pleasure? What would you like to do?
The Waco Kid: Oh I don't know...play chess...screw...
Bart: Well, let's play chess!

Bart: Man, why you do that to yourself?
The Waco Kid: Oh, you don't really wanna know...
Bart: I do, I do!
The Waco Kid: Well, if you must pry...
Bart: I must, I must!

Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley: Marvelous.

Hedley: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto!
Hedley: "Ditto"? "Ditto", you provincial putz?!

Hedley: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
Hedley: Shit-kicker.

Hedley Lamarr: Raise your right hand... [Nazi's raise left] ...Right hand [Nazi's switch]. Repeat after me: I...
Brigands: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Brigands: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks. [loud] pledge allegiance...
Brigands: ...do pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...
Brigands: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's Hedley!!
Brigands: That's Hedley!!
Hedley Lamarr:...and to the evil...
Brigands:...and to the evil...
Hedley Lamarr: ...for which he stands.
Brigands:...for which he stands.
Hedley Lamarr: Now go do, that voodoo, that you do, so weeeell!!!

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.

[Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain]
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.
Bart: Through the Vatican?
Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinky! Sign here. (Bart begins to sign, his dark-skinned hand showing)
Jim (thinking fast, talking mock-southern, pretending to scrub the back of Bart's hand): Rhett, how many times have I told you to wash up after weekly cross-burnin's? (turns Bart's hand up, exposing naturally-light palm) See, it's comin' off! (Taggart pulls Bart's hood off).
Bart: And now, for my next impression... Jesse Owens! (Bart and Jim sprint away)
Hedley Lamarr: Cease them! [fires a shot in the air] Catch them! Get them!
Taggart: Hold up, men! We'll head them off at the pass!
Hedley Lamarr: 'Head them off at the pass'?! I hate that clich?! [Shoots Taggart in the foot]

[Last lines]
Jim: Where you headed, cowboy?
Bart: Nowhere special.
Jim: Nowhere special. Always wanted to go there.
Bart: Come on.

Lyle: [Taunting the mainly-black rail workers] When you was slaves, you sang like birds. Come on! Let's hear a good, old-fashioned **** work song!
[Enraged ("**** work song...?"), the workers move to attack him, but are stopped by Bart: He promptly proceeds to sing...]
Bart: [Crooning, Sammy Davis, Jr.-style, with fellow railworkers providing backing vocals] I, get no kick, from champagne... Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all...[the bullying supervisors look immensely confused] so why then should it be true?...that I get a belt - outta you... Some get a kick from coca-yeai-yeaiiiinnnneee...
Lyle: Hold it! Hold it! What the hell is that shit?! I meant a song! A real song! Like [singing] "Swing low, sweet chariot"...
[The railworkers mumble to each other in mock confusion]
Lyle: Don't know that one, huh. Well how about "De Camptown Ladies"?
Bart: De Camptown Ladies?
Railworkers: De Camptown Ladies?
Lyle: Oh, you know! "De Camptown ladies sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah! Camptown Race Track five miles long, oh-de-do-da-dahy!"
[The white supervisors begin joining in, complete with ludicrous dancing actions, much to the amusement of the railworkers]

Bart: Good mornin' Ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Old Lady: Up yours, ****!

Charlie: You shifty ****, they said you was hung!
Bart: And they was right.

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the