Big Trouble quotes

View Quote Snake: [to the Russians] If you assholes try to call the cops after we leave, the next bullet goes through your head.

View Quote Arthur Herk: [to Eliot] Now you and your shithead kid can get the hell out of here, and never come back.
Eliot Arnold: Thanks for everything.

View Quote {Having been sprayed by a hallucinogenic toad, Arthur is hallucinating that his dog possesses the head of Martha Stewart]
Arthur Herk: Oh, my God! She's coming to get me!
Pat Greer: The dog, sir?
Arthur Herk: No, not that! Her!
Pat Greer: Who?
Arthur Herk: You know! Her!
Martha Stewart: Herk, Herk, Herk! Herk!
Arthur Herk: Oh, my God, she knows my name... She knows everything! She's come to take my soul!
Pat Greer: Mr. Herk, this is important...
Arthur Herk: Please don't let her take my soul!
[Arthur begins sobbing and moaning incoherently]
Pat Greer: What the hell's he talking about?
Officer Monica Romero: I don't know.
Alan Seitz: How close did he get to that toad?
Officer Monica Romero: Like face first.
Alan Seitz: Beufotin. Hell of a hallucination. He's gone and he's not coming back.
Martha Stewart: growls
Alan Seitz: Discovery Channel.

View Quote Nina, this is my house, you work for me, and I want to suck your toes.

View Quote [After his son has just called him a loser] Okay, now it's my turn. Up yours, you little shithead. Okay, your turn.

View Quote Officer Monica Romero: You're making a big mistake.
Snake: Story of my life.

View Quote There isn't any rule that says I can't come over here and fart on your entree.

View Quote Eliot Arnold: Strip poker. Strip poker. Now, that's a good game.
[Grabs a squirt gun away from Matt]
Eliot Arnold: This is a stupid game.
Matt Arnold: Dad, no offense, but only a moron would mistake that for a real gun.
Eliot Arnold: You could've been killed. And where's your partner in crime?
Matt Arnold: Andrew?
Jenny Herk: He ran the other way.
Eliot Arnold: Did anybody call the police?

View Quote Jenny Herk: You [Andrew], don't look at my ass when I walk away.
Andrew: I can't make that promise.
[scoffs and leaves]
Andrew: Whoa. "You can squirt me tonight down at Bayside." You're gonna remember that line when you're an old dude, dude.
Matt Arnold: Are you looking at her ass?
Andrew: Yeah.

View Quote [About Arthur] Arthur Herk. One of the few Floridians who was not confused when he voted for Pat Buchanan.

View Quote [Trapped on a delayed plane with idiotic sports fans after a surreal day in Miami] I really feel like killing someone.

View Quote Leonard: Look at this thing. He's the size of a Buick.
Henry Desalvo: She.
Leonard: She what?
Henry Desalvo: The mosquito is a she.
Leonard: How the hell can you tell that?
Henry Desalvo: Discovery Channel. Only the female mosquito sucks your blood.
Leonard: Sounds like my ex-wife. "Bitch."

View Quote Pat Greer: Doesn't that just warm the ****les of your heart?
Alan Seitz: Warms the shit out of my ****les.

View Quote Eliot Arnold: I hope you're not gonna give me a ticket for this.
Officer Walter Kramitz: If I don't see them, I don't write them.

View Quote Airport Officer Arch Ridley: [Agent Greer just pushed him up against a support wall] Name's Arch Ridley. Tell me what you need. Please don't kill me.
Pat Greer: We're tracking a couple of s****bags, with one, maybe two hostages and a big metal suitcase. Anybody in this crackerjack system of yours see anything like that?