Miss Mona Stangley Me jumpin' up and down? I'd black both my eyes!
Played by Dolly Parton 
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) · 25 quotes
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) · 25 quotes
Most-quoted character in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982): in 9 of its 25 quotes
Most scenes with: Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd (2)
You know, it's always a business doing pleasure with you, Charlie!
More lines from Miss Mona Stangley
4 quotes Miss Mona Stangley Miss Mona Stangley Don't feel sorry for me. I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast.
Miss Mona Stangley I couldn't be a ballerina now. I'm too top-heavy. I have a hard enough time balancin' these things now without gettin' on my toes!
Miss Mona Stangley Ed Earl, I think the best thing to do is to put this behind us, just as quick as we can. I've made a little money, I've laughed some, I've danced to the music... it's just time to pay the fiddler, that's all.
Scenes with Miss Mona Stangley
4 scenes Miss Mona You know what burns my ass? A flame about three feet high!
Miss Mona Well, one of those nights when you ain't on duty, you drop in out there. My girls'll love to show you a little appreciation.
Shoot, Miss Mona - you know I'm a married man!
Miss Mona Oh, Fred, you mean to tell me you don't think the cows don't appreciate the time off when a bull goes over to another pasture?
[On space aliens]
I saw a picture once, of them fellers from, you know, that's supposed to be from up there? Fly around? Tiny little fellers. Bald-headed, little feet, little hands - got no peckers.
Miss Mona Got no peckers?
Miss Mona [Ed shakes his head no]
Well, I ain't interested. I don't think my girls would be either!
Miss Mona You ain't never gonna be no more than you are right now: a chicken-shit sheriff in a chicken-shit town!
You may be right, but it's a hell of a lot better than being a whore.
