Craig Schwartz You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!
Most-quoted character in Being John Malkovich (1999): in 11 of its 29 quotes
Most scenes with: Maxine Lund (3)
Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?
More lines from Craig Schwartz
4 quotes Craig Schwartz Craig Schwartz Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.
Craig Schwartz Look away. (looking through Emily's eyes at the end)
Craig Schwartz I'd **** me. [Watching television documentary on his puppeteering when he's in John Malkovich's body.]
Scenes with Craig Schwartz
6 scenes
For the first time, everything just felt right.
Craig It's just a phase. It's the thrill of seeing through somebody else's eyes.
So I've been thinking...Is this Malkovich fellow appealing?
Craig Maxine! Yes, of course, Maxine. He's a celebrity.
Good. We'll sell tickets!
Craig Tickets to Malkovich?
Exactly! $200 a pop!
Any questions?
Craig Well, just one. Why are these ceilings so low?
Low overhead my boy! We pass the savings onto you! Hahaha!
I have been to the dark side and back! I have seen a world that no man should see!
Craig Really? For most people, it's a rather pleasant experience.
Craig There's a tiny door in that empty office. It's a portal, Maxine. It takes you inside John Malkovich. You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes, then, after about fifteen minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of The New Jersey Turnpike.
Sounds delightful. Who the **** is John Malkovich?
Craig He's an actor. One of the great American actors of the 20th century.
What's he been in?
Craig Lots of things. He's very well respected. That jewel thief movie, for example. The point is that this is a very odd thing, supernatural, for lack of a better word. It raises all sorts of philosophical questions about the nature of self, about the existence of the soul. Am I me? Is Malkovich Malkovich? Was the Buddha right, is duality an illusion? Do you see what a can of worms this portal is? I don't think I can go on living my life as I have lived it. There's only one thing to do. Let's get married right away.
Craig I've fallen in love, and this is what people who've fallen in love look like!
Well, you picked the unrequited variety. It's very bad for the skin.
