Bedknobs and Broomsticks 1971 quotes, page 2

I found the door open, the curtains closed—the house was deserted.

Miss Price

Why on earth would someone do a thing like that?

I would say this may have something to do with it... [gestures towards an unexploded bomb]

Miss Price

Merciful heavens! I should be terrified at the very idea of living here.

You would have thought so, wouldn't you? I am, by nature, a little bit of a coward—but then I pondered, as I often do: in the perverse nature of things, this diabolical object is probably the best friend I ever had. It has enabled me for the first time in my life to live like a king. Shall we go in?

I will cause the bed and all its occupants to disappear.

Bookman

Disappear? I'd like to see a cheap jack entertainer do a trick like that.

Cheap jack entertainer. Now that was naughty.

I liked you better as a rabbit, Charlie

Charlie

Shut up, you!

Is this London?

'Course it is. Can't you smell that lovely sooty air?

That's not a rabbit—that's Mr. Browne, that is!

Miss Price

If you are Mr. Browne, would you kindly get down off my lap?

What is this—a toyshop?

No, it's a nursery. Ain't you ever seen a nursery before?

Charlie

No, and neither have you.

Captain Greer

You there! Which way to Pepperinge Eye?

Couldn't say, sir—said on the wireless to paint out the signposts in case the Nazis drop in.

Captain Greer

I'm not a Nazi, I'm a British officer!

...that's what you say if you was a Nazi, isn't it sir?

Stop jibbering. [hits Secretary Bird on the head] What's the matter with you?

Your Royal Star! They've stolen your Royal Star.

Don't be ridiculous. What do you think this is? [dangles a whistle in front of Secretary Bird, who blows on it, and when he sees the whistle. King Leonidas realizes and roars so loudly, that blows Secretary Bird's clothes off] WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!!

Who do you think you are, the Queen of Sheba?

Charlie

Poisoned dragon's liver?!

Miss Price

Poisoned dragon's liver.

Do you poison the dragon or just the liver?

Miss Price

It comes prepared. It's part of the school equipment.

Miss Price

Colonel, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit?

Be quiet, please.

Miss Price

Paul, kindly fetch me my notebook from my office.

Miss Price

Filigree, apogee, epigee...!

Colonel Heller

No, fraulein, this is not the invasion, just a little exercise, a minor raid to induce panic and to spread a little mischief. When you English get it through your head that the German forces can land at will whenever and wherever we please, perhaps you will consider a reasonable peace.

Charlie

Not bloody likely!

Go on, Miss Price. Do it to him.

Miss Price

I must say, it's very tempting. Colonel, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit? [The colonel and a soldier read a map, ignoring Miss Price] I said, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit?!

Colonel Heller

Be quiet, please!

Miss Price

Filigree, apogee, epigee...!

Charlie

Not again.

Your memory, Miss Price.

Miss Price

Charles, would you kindly fetch me my notebook from the workroom, please?

Charlie

Right-o.

Colonel Heller

SILENCE!!! [The commotion stops] Fraulein, we have work to do. I am sorry, but I must send all of you someplace where you will no longer be a nuisance. [Gives an order in German and continues working]

Captain Greer

Who is that?

General Teagler

Miss Price—splendid woman. Her late father served with me at Vimy Ridge.

Captain Greer

What's she burning in this thing?—It smells a bit like sulphur.

General Teagler

Nonsense! One can't make a motor fuel out of sulphur!

What's your name?

Miss Price

Miss Price.

No—I mean your first name.

Miss Price

Eglantine.

Eglantine...Eglantine... [He pushes the ladder upon which Miss Price is standing along the rail, startling her.] Oh, how you shine!

Miss Price

That's my nightgown!

Is it really, my dear?

Miss Price

Yes, and I'm not responsible for its behaviour.

Obviously not, my dear.