“The next thing I know, she's sitting right there next to me. Well...” – Melvin Udall, As Good as It Gets ... Movie Quotes Database

[to the bartender]

The next thing I know, she's sitting right there next to me. Well, it's not right to go into details. I got nervous. I screwed up. I said the wrong thing. Where if I hadn't, I... I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got a life. Instead, I'm here with you. No offense, but a moron pushing the last legal drug.

More from As Good as It Gets

Carol Connelly You look so s- . . . [She stops herself from saying "sexy" and regathers.] You look, uh, great. You look great. Carol Connelly When you first came into breakfast, when I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke. Simon Bishop Do you miss the tough guy? [imitating Melvin] Well here I am, sweetheart! Happy to see me, ya little piss-ant mop!? How 'bout another ride down the chute?!