Annie Hall You're the reason that I got out of my room and that I was able to sing and, and, and you know get more in touch with my feelings and all that crap.
Played by Diane Keaton 
Annie Hall (1977) · 89 quotes
Annie Hall (1977) · 89 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Annie Hall (1977): in 27 of its 89 quotes
Most scenes with: Alvy Singer (24)
La-di-da, la-di-da, la la.
Note: ranked #55 in the [[w:AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movie Quotes|American Film
More lines from Annie Hall
2 quotes Annie Hall Annie Hall [repeated line]
La-dee-da, la-dee-da.
Scenes with Annie Hall
24 scenes
Pedestrian
Are you on television?
No. [After a long pause] Yeah, once in a while...
Pedestrian
What's your name?
You wouldn't know. It doesn't matter. What's the difference?
Pedestrian
You're on, uh, the, uh, the Johnny Carson, right?
Once in a while, you know...
Pedestrian
What's your name?
I-m - I'm uh, I'm Robert Redford.
Pedestrian
Come on.
Alvy Singer. It was nice. Thanks very much for everything.
Pedestrian
Hey! Dis is Alvy Singah!
Fellas, you know...
Pedestrian
Dis guy's on television!!! Alvy Singer. Right? Am I right?
Gimme a break...
Pedestrian
Dis guy's on television!!!
I need the large polo mallet.
2nd man
Who's on television?
Pedestrian
Dis guy - on the Johnny Carson Show.
Fellas, what is this? A meeting of the Teamsters?
2nd man
What program?
Pedestrian
Kineye 'ave your ortograph?
You don't want my autograph.
Pedestrian
No, I do. It's for my girlfriend. Make it out to Ralph.
Your girlfriend's name is Ralph?
Pedestrian
It's for my bruddah. ALVY SINGER!! HEY! THIS IS ALVY SINGER!!
Annie I'm in a bad mood, OK?
Bad mood? I'm standing with the cast of The Godfather.
Annie You're gonna have to learn to deal with it.
I'm dealin' with two guys named Cheech.
Note: The in-joke is that Diane Keaton starred in "The Godfather". So "I'm standing with the cast of The Godfather" can be also taken literally.
Hey, you are in a bad mood. You must be getting your period.
Annie I'm not getting my period. Jesus, every time anything out of the ordinary happens, you think that I'm getting my period.
Annie Hall So you wanna go into the movie or what?
No, I've got to see a picture exactly from the start to the finish, 'cause, 'cause I'm anal.
Annie Hall Ha! That's a polite word for what you are.
Do you know what a hostile gesture that is to me?
Annie I know, because of our sexual problem, right?
Everybody on line at The New Yorker has to know our rate of intercourse?
Annie You know, you're so ego-centric that if I miss my therapy, you can only think of it in terms of how it affects you!
...
What do you mean, our sexual problem? I mean, I'm comparatively normal for a guy raised in Brooklyn.
Annie OK, I'm very sorry. My sexual problem, OK? My sexual problem. Huh? [A man in front of them in line turns back to look at them, and then turns away]
I never read that. That was, that was Henry James, right? Novel, huh, the sequel to The Turn of the Screw, 'My Sexual Problem'?
The Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card and you'd tell 'em everything.
Annie That movie makes me feel guilty.
Cause it's supposed to.
Annie Well, you are what Grammy Hall would call a 'real Jew.'
Thank you.
Annie Yeah, well, she hates Jews. She thinks they just make money, but let me tell ya, I mean, she's the one. Is she ever, I'm tellin' ya.
What do you mean? You're not going to give up your own apartment, are you?
Annie Of course.
But but but why?
Annie I'm moving in with you, that's why.
Yeah, but you've got a nice apartment.
Annie I have a tiny apartment.
I know it's small.
Annie That's right, and it's got bad plumbing and bugs.
All right, granted, it has bad plumbing and bugs. But you, you say that like it's a negative thing. You know, bugs, uh - Entymology is a rapidly growing field.
Annie You don't want me to live with you.
I don't want you to live with me! Who's idea was it?
'Annie: Mine.
Yeah, it was yours actually, but uh, I approved it immediately.
Annie I guess you think that I talked you into something, huh?
No. We live together. We sleep together. We eat together. Jesus. You don't want it to be like we're married, do ya?
Annie You don't think I'm smart enough to be serious about.
Hey, don't be ridiculous.
Annie Then why are you always pushing me to take those college courses like I was dumb or something?
'Cause adult education's a wonderful thing. You meet a lot of interesting professors. You know, it's stimulating.
Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that it will make a white woman more like Billie Holiday.
Annie Well, have you ever made love high?
Me? No. I - I, you know, If I have grass or alcohol or anything, I get unbearably wonderful. I get too, too wonderful for words. I don't know why you have to get high every time we make love.
Annie It relaxes me.
You have to be artificially relaxed before we can go to bed?
Annie Well, what's the difference anyway?
Well, I'll give you a shot of sodium pentothal. You can sleep through it.
Annie Oh come on. Look who's talking. You've been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years. You should smoke some of this. You'd be off the couch in no time.
Hey, is something wrong?
Annie No, why?
I don't know. It's like you're removed.
Annie No, I'm fine.
Are you with me?
Annie Uh, huh.
I don't know. You seem sort of distant.
Annie Let's just do it, all right?
Is it my imagination, or are you just going through the motions?
Ghost Annie
Alvy, do you remember where I put my drawing pad? Because while you two are doing that, I think I'm going to do some drawing.
You see, that's what I call removed.
Annie No you have my body.
Yeah, but I want the whole thing.
Annie Well, I need grass.
Well, it ruins it for me if you have grass. Because you know, I'm like a comedian. So if I get a laugh from a person who's high, it doesn't count, you know, 'cause they're always laughing.
Annie Were you always funny?
Hey, what is this - an interview? We're supposed to be making love.
Mrs. Hall
How do you plan to spend the holidays, Mrs. Singer?
Mrs. Singer
We fast.
Mr. Hall
Fast?
Mr. Singer
No food. You know, to atone for our sins.
Mrs. Hall
What sins? I don't understand.
Mr. Singer
To tell you the truth, neither do we.
Well, I didn't start out spying. I thought I'd surprise you. Pick you up after school.
Annie Yeah, but you wanted to keep the relationship flexible. Remember, it's your phrase.
Oh stop it, you're having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man...
Annie Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You're really close.
What's the difference? It's all mental masturbation.
Annie Oh, well, now we're finally getting to a subject you know something about.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Annie We're not having an affair. He's married. He just happens to think I'm neat.
Neat! What are you, 12 years old? That's one of your Chippewa Falls expressions.
Annie Who cares? Who cares?
Next thing, you know, he'll find you keen and peachy, you know. Next thing, you know, he's got his hand on your ass.
Annie You've always had hostility towards David, ever since I mentioned him.
Dave? You call your teacher David?
Annie It's his name.
It's a Biblical name, right? What does he call you, Bathsheba?
Annie Alvy, Alvy, you're the one who never wanted to make a real commitment. You don't think I'm smart enough. We had that argument just last month, or don't you remember that day?
Annie So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?
Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that...
Annie She said that I was very guilty about my impulses towards marriage and children. And then I remember when I was a kid how I accidently saw my parents making love.
Really. All this happened in the first hour? That's amazing. I'm off fifteen years. You know, I have nothing like that.
Annie I told her my dream and then I cried.
Cried? I have never once cried. That's fantastic to me. I whine. I sit and I whine.
Annie Wait a minute Alvy. In my dream, Frank Sinatra is holding his pillow across my face and I can't breathe...strangling me...
No kidding. Oh sure! Because he's a singer and you're a singer. You know, so it's perfect. So you're trying to suffocate yourself. It makes perfect sense. It's a perfect analytic kind of insight.
Annie She said your name was Alvy Singer.
What do you mean? Me?
Annie Yeah, yeah you. Because in the dream, I break Sinatra's glasses.
Sinatra had glasses? You never said Sinatra had glasses. So what are you saying? That I'm suffocating you?...
Annie Oh and God, Alvy, I did this really terrible thing to him. Because then when he sang, it was in this real high-pitched voice.
What did the doctor say?
Annie Well, she said that I should probably come five times a week. And you know something? I don't think I mind analysis at all. The only question is, is 'Will it change my wife?'
Will it change your wife?
Annie Will it change my life?
Yeah, but you said, 'Will it change my wife?'
Annie No I didn't. I said, 'Will it change my life, Alvy?'
[to the camera]
She said, 'Will it change my wife?' You heard that, because you were there. So I'm not crazy.
Annie And then I told her about how I didn't think you'd ever take me really seriously because you don't think that I'm smart enough.
Why do you always bring that up? Because I encourage you to take adult education courses? I think it's a wonderful thing. You meet wonderful interesting professors.
Adult education is such junk. The professors are so phony. How can you do it?
Annie I don't care what you say about David. He's a perfectly fine teacher. And what are you doing following me around for anyway? I think we'd better call this relationship quits.
Annie We never have any fun any more.
How can you say that?
Annie Why not? You're always leaning on me to improve yourself.
You're just upset. You must be getting your period.
Annie I don't get a period. I'm a cartoon character. Can't I be upset once in a while?
Max, will you forget about Annie? I know lots of women you can date.
I don't want to go out with any other women.
Max, I have got a girl for you. You are going to love her. She's a reporter for Rolling Stone.
Hey, what is this? You got black soap?
Annie It's for my complexion.
What - are you joining a minstrel show?
[about the spiders]
I did it. I killed 'em both. What's the matter? What are you sad about? What did you want me to do? Capture 'em and rehabilitate 'em?
Annie Don't go, OK? Please?
What do ya mean, 'don't'? What's the matter? What? Are you expecting termites? What's the matter?
Annie I don't know why. I miss you.
Annie Alvy, let's never break up again. I don't wanna be apart.
You know Annie, I think we're both much too mature for something like that.
Annie Living together hasn't been so bad, has it?
No, for me it's been terrific, you know...'cause there is just something different about you. I don't know what it is, but it's great.
Annie You know, I think that if you let me, maybe I could help you have more fun.
How often do you sleep together?
Annie's analyst Do you have sex often?
Hardly ever, maybe three times a week.
Annie Constantly, I'd say three times a week.
I don't want to put a wad of white powder in my nose. There's the nasal membrane...
Annie You never want to try anything new, Alvy.
How can you say that? Whose idea was it? I said that you, I and that girl from your acting class should sleep together in a threesome.
Annie Well, that's sick!
Yeah, I know it's sick, but it's new. You didn't say it couldn't be sick.
Annie [about California]
It's so clean out here.
That's because they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Annie [voiceover]
That was fun. I don't think California is bad at all. It's a drag coming home.
Annie [voiceover]
I have to face facts. I adore Alvy, but our relationship doesn't seem to work anymore.
Annie [voiceover]
If only I had the nerve to break up but it would really hurt him.
[voiceover]
If only I didn't feel guilty asking Annie to move out. It would probably wreck her. But I should be honest.
Annie Alvy? Let's face it. You know something? I don't think our relationship is working.
I know. A relationship, I think, is-is like a shark. You know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies, and I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
Whose Catcher in the Rye is this?
Annie Well let's see now. If it has my name on it, then I guess it's mine.
...You know, you wrote your name in all my books 'cause you knew this day was gonna come.
Annie Well, uh, Alvy, uh, you wanted to break up just as much as I do.
No question about it. I think we're doing the mature thing, without any doubt.
Annie Now look, all the books on death and dying are yours and all the poetry books are mine.
So what - you-you're not gonna come back to New York?
Annie What's so great about New York? I mean, it's a dying city. You read Death in Venice.
Hey, you didn't read Death in Venice till I bought it for ya.
Annie That's right, that's right. You only gave me books with the word 'death' in the titles.
That's right, 'cause it's an important issue.
Annie Alvy, you're incapable of enjoying life, you know that? I mean you're like New York City. You're just this person. You're like this island unto yourself.
I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
Annie Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.
You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.
