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Animal House

Animal House quotes

70 total quotes

Babs Jansen
Dean Vernon Wormer
Douglas C. Neidermeyer
Eric 'Otter' Stratton
John 'Bluto' Blutarsky
Kent 'Flounder' Dorfman
Multiple Characters


Larry: I hate this.
Kent: No sweat. My brother Fred was a Delta. That makes me a legacy. They have to take me. It's their law. Don't worry. I'll put in a good word for you.
Larry: Great. I heard Delta's the worst house on campus.


Larry: [Handed his first joint] I won't go schizo, will I?
Jennings: It's a distinct possibility.

Mayor Carmine De Pasto: If you want this year's homecoming parade in my town, you have to pay for it.
Dean Wormer: Carmine, I don't think it's right that you should extort money from the college.
Mayor Carmine De Pasto: Look, these parades you throw are very expensive. You using my police, my sanitation people, and my Oldsmobiles free of charge. So, if you mention extortion again, I'll have your legs broken.

Meaner dude: If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Boon: Leaving! What a good idea.

Neidermeyer [after Delta house is closed] How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

Neidermeyer: Dress that line. Dress that line, mister! Dress that line, soldier. Mister, hold my mount. [to Kent] You fat, disgusting slob! You're a goddamned disgrace!
Boon: [watching from afar] A vicious mother, isn't he?
Otter: He can't do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
Neidermeyer: [to Kent] Redo those buttons! Dress that belt buckle! Straighten that cap! And goddamn it, tuck up those pyjamas! Attention! Eyes front! What's that on your chest, mister?
Kent: It's a pledge pin, sir.
Neidermeyer: A pledge pin! On your uniform?
...
Neidermeyer: Just tell me, mister, what fraternity would pledge a man like you?
Kent: It's a Delta pin, sir.

Neidermeyer: Hi there, fellows. Meet Ken and Lonny.
Larry: Larry.
Neidermeyer: Ken, Lonny, l'd like you to meet Mohammet Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton. Grab a seat and make yourselves at home. Don't be shy about helping yourselves to punch and cookies.

Neidermeyer: The following charges are brought: First, that the Delta house did knowingly violate the rules governing pledge recruitment by serving alcohol to freshmen during pledge week and after established drinking hours.
Hoover: I'd like to address these charges one at a time, if l may.
Dean Wormer: You'll get your chance, smart guy. [to Neidermeyer] Get on with it.
Neidermeyer: Second, that for the fifth consecutive semester, Delta has achieved a deficient aggregate grade point average.
Hoover: Half the houses didn't make grades.
Dean Wormer: You will speak when you're told to, and not before! [to Neidermeyer] Read.
Neidermeyer: Third, that the Delta fraternity routinely provided dangerous narcotic diet pills to its members during--
Hoover: That's not true!
Dean Wormer: Not another word!
Neidermeyer: During midterm examination week. And most recently...that a Roman toga party was held from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Neidermeyer: We now consecrate the bond of obedience. Assume the position.
[Hits Chip with a paddle]
Chip: Thank you, sir. May I have another?

Otter: [about Niedermeyer] He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.

Otter: Ah, she broke our date.
Boon: Washing her hair?
Otter: Dead mother.

Otter: Bluto! I think you know everybody here.
Mandy: Greg, can't you--
Otter: Don't worry. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth.
Greg: Don't you have any respect for yourself?
Babs: This is absolutely gross! That boy is a P-I-G, pig!
Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now. [puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, then squeezes his cheeks, spraying them] I'm a zit. Get it?
Greg: All right, you bastard. Let's go, right here!

Otter: Evening.
Shelly: I'm Shelly Dubinsky, Fawn's roommate.
Otter: I'm Frank Lymon from Amherst, Fawn's fianc?. Actually, we're engaged to be engaged. What's wrong with everyone here?
Shelly: Why don't we sit down, Frank? I don't know how to tell you...so l'll just tell you. Fawn's dead.
Otter: She's dead? [Laughs] Did she put you up to this? That minx. What a lively sense of humour. [Shelly hands him a newspaper clipping] "Sophomore dies in kiln explosion"? Oh, my God!
Shelly: I'm terribly sorry, Frank.
Otter: I just talked to her last week. She was gonna make a pot for me.
Shelly: If there's anything I can do....
Otter: You're so nice. I really shouldn't impose on you.
Shelly: No, really. Anything.
Otter: I don't think I should be alone tonight. Would you go out with me?
Shelly: I'll get my coat.
Otter: And could you get three dates for my friends?

Otter: Flounder, I am appointing you pledge representative to the social committee.
Flounder: Gee Otter, thanks. What do I have to do?
Otter: It means you have to drive us to the Food King.

Otter: Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we...
Mandy: Go away!
Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
Mandy: Do I have to leave?
Otter: Is this any way to treat an intimate friend?